They are here!

I am not pregnant anymore!!! Yippeee! Although, it is a bit weird that I haven't been pregnant for 5 days now and I kinda miss it a bit. Just a bit. I already have forgotten exactly what it felt like. Kinda sad.

Anyways, detail, details....Cooper Hatch Mallard and Walker Grant Mallard joined our family on Friday, September 21, 2012 at 02:39 and 02:40. It was very quick and unexpected.....well to an extent. We knew they were coming sometime soon, but just didn't know at that moment in time it was going to be then. I will explain....

It really couldn't have gone more perfectly really. There were some things that I wanted to happen before they came and they were good boys and waited until I was ready. They waited for their daddy to get home, they waited for their sister to have school pictures, they waited until after 36 weeks to come, and they came at the beginning of the weekend! They already love their momma!!!

Jar got home and the doctor told me that as soon as he did to start doing some brisk walking to help get prepared for their arrival. So I did. And it sucked. That whole week I had been having some back pain and cramping and some contractions, but nothing regular, so I knew it would be quick once I started to try and get things going. So on Wednesday we were in Pincher so I could get my haircut. Jar took Macey to Walmart while I was there. It was a fast cut and so I started walking towards Walmart. It's not too far, but Walmart is on the higher side of the hill than the salon. So I called Jar and got his voicemail. I left a message saying I was done and I was walking and that he needed to come and get me. He didn't. I got to the big steep hill. I saw that the other side of the road had the nice paved walk way that wasn't as steep as the path I had. I couldn't make up my mind if I should cross and take the longer way or just keep going. I kept going. That hill would have been bad on a regular day. I'm sure I gave a few passerby's some good laughs.You're welcome! I finally got a hold of Jar and told him to get me because I was almost at the hospital. When I got to the hospital I saw Jar pulling up and I was so relieved! He kept driving for some reason. Frustrated, I called him again to ask why he drove on by. He said he couldn't see me. Uh huh. You couldn't see the huge pregnant lady waddling down the street. Right. He finally got to me and when I got in I could barely move! It was horrible! The contractions were painful. Well, the contraction was painful. It was just one long cramp. It finally died down and I had some contraction for a bit, but they died down. I think we headed into Lethbridge after we picked up Mackie from school, but I honestly don`t remember what we did. I just remember thinking we were going to be in there for 3 days in a row. Maybe we didn`t go in. My brain is still mush.

We did go in on Thursday. We planned on going out to Buffalo Jump for the day to do some walking around. By the time we left and got close, there wasn`t much time to see anything there, so we continued in to Lethbridge. We stopped and picked up some munchies at Extra Foods in Fort Macleod. I got some hot pepperonis to spice things up. Oh, right, we were in Lethbridge the night before because Jar`s sister and her husband and baby were in town, so we went in to have supper with them. Jar wanted me to have hot wings to try and get things going, but they weren`t all that hot. Anyways, we went to the mall and kinda walked around. We almost got snagged into buying a bunch of Apple stuff. An iPad, and apple tv, a notebook. All that good stuff. We left and went to Henderson to play at the park and walk around. We let the girls play for a bit and then we decided to head home. I was having the same cramps and aches as usual. I was also having contractions, but they didn`t hurt. They wouldn`t go away though either. I started to time them. They were happening about every 4-5 minutes. We got out of Lethbridge and it just didn`t seem right to be leaving Lethbridge when I was feeling like this. The contractions were just too regular. I just thought it was weird that they didn`t hurt. So while we were driving I tried putting my chair back to change position. Contractions still came. I told Jar that we might have to turn around and go to the hospital, just to get things checked out. I told him I wanted to wait until Fort Macleod and I would get out and stand up to see if that helped get rid of the contractions. We got there and after having a few more standing up we decided to head back. We dropped the girls off at our friends house. It was just before 10 at night. I was so glad that it wasn`t in the middle of the night! We got the girls put into bed and we left.

When we got to the hospital they hooked me up to the monitors to watch the contractions. I was having them alright. They were still kinda sporadic though and not super strong. They checked me and I was 3 cm. They decided to keep me in over night and see if I progressed or not. The contractions kept coming, but they were short and irregular and not painful. After awhile, the nurse came back in and I said that they were getting to be a bit more painful and I thought they might be getting stronger, but I wasn`t too sure. So they hooked me back up and watched again. I felt like such an idiot. It felt like those times when you have something wrong with you and you go to the doctor and once you`re there, your symptoms mysteriously vanish. She just sat there and watched and then she asked me if I had felt those contractions. I told her I felt maybe 2 that were a bit more painful. So she checked me again and told me I was 5 cm! I couldn`t believe it! This was it! This was happening! I asked if this was when I would be getting an epidural. She said it was and she was going to go talk to the doctor. Within minutes the doctor was in my room and she told me she didn`t want to me to labor anymore. She wasn`t comfortable doing a VBAC on twins. The chances of my uterus rupturing were high and that can lead to bad things. I was a bit disappointed, but I knew I wasn`t going to be comfortable if she wasn`t, so I said okay. I asked how long it would be until we went in. I was thinking somewhere along the lines of an hour or two. She said 20 minutes. The room was already being prepped! So within 5 minutes I thought I wasn`t in labor to being in labor and having a C-section now. It was crazy!

Jar called both our parents and we got ready to go in. I was excited. I was nervous. When we got into the OR, there weren`t too many people in there. Yet. They gave me the spinal and I laid back on the table. It was so uncomfortable. I started to get dizzy from lying on my back that long. It was the weirdest feeling being numb from the waist down. I could feel them touching me and could feel where my toes were, but I couldn`t move them. It was neat, frustrating, scary. More people started to pile into the room. Baby A`s station was being set up by my head and Baby B`s station was being set up on the other side of the room. Jar had a chair by my head and they put the curtain up. The doctor asked if I could feel any pain. When I said no, she said good, because she was poking my stomach with a very sharp object. Oh good. It was working! She then proceeded to cut me open. It seemed like they were digging around forever in there. It was probably only 5 minutes, but when you`re already feeling sick from the pressure on your blood supply, and people are pushing around in there, it doesn`t really help. I was a mental struggle to keep calm during it all. Finally I heard her say they had Baby A out. And then I heard him cry. I instantly teared up. I also felt a huge difference in my stomach. Just a big hole where one human being used to be. Not long after Baby B was out and crying as well!

We could see Baby A on his table. He was being checked out and all of the sudden he stopped crying. The doctors and nurses started to move a bit quicker and put as mask on him. We had no idea what was going on. They were suctioning him and pumping the air into him and flicking him. He finally started to cry again and all was well. He had apparently breathed in some fluid that he shouldn`t have, but once it was out, he was fine. It was scary though. They brought him over and they brought Baby B over. They were so beautiful! They started to cry in unison and everyone oooohed and aaahed over them. When they were both pulled out, all I heard was Wow! What a big boy! I was a proud mom!

They took the babies up to NICU while I recovered. Jar went with them. I felt helpless and alone, but I was so happy at the same time. I hated not knowing what was going on, how they were doing....they needed me!
Once I got sewn up I went into recovery. The nurses were great in there and soon enough I was headed up to the room. They had told me how much the boys had weighed. Cooper, who was Baby A, had weighed 6 lbs 3 oz and Walker, Baby B, was 5 lbs 11 oz. They were doing good and they would be able to come into my room with me! I was so happy that they didn`t need to be in NICU!

I got to my room and waited for them to get there. Once they finally came in I just wanted to hold them! They were so little! They were perfect! The rest of the night was full of them being checked out and myself being checked. We had no sleep. They passed their glucose test though, so that was great! I had to express milk though and cup feed them their first feeding because they were just too tired to do it themselves. But it was enough to help them pass their tests and not be poked and prodded anymore than was necessary. They both started nursing that day though and did very well! I was so happy. I was really nervous of them not having that reflex yet and that nursing would be an issue. They really couldn`t have done better!

I think I will stop here for now and continue on with the hospital stay for next time. It`s late and I need my sleep!! I will hopefully have pictures put on my computer to put up on here as well!

Wooohoooo!

Alright, I have attempted to blog a few times in the last little while and they never get published. I've been too mentally stressed out that everything seems so down in the dumps and grumpy. Jar is home now though, I've made it past 36 weeks and it was picture day today and Mackinley made it to that. So, everything that I was worried about has come and gone. You have no idea how awesome it is feeling!

Up until this day I had a plan of how today would go. Jar would go home and I would be all over anything natural that I thought would help these babies come out! Now the day has gotten here and to be honest, I'm soooo nervous! This is really happening! I'm feeling a bit nauseous right now and I don't know if it's my nerves or just not feeling too good.

Jar actually got to come home last night. The company he works for is awesome! We love them! They have treated us, well Jar, very well and yes, he works up north and is away from home, but it has been a blessing for our family in many ways. Once they heard that I had a bad night Monday night and almost called him to come home, they flew him home. Plus he gets his next set off. And it's all paid! I am really grateful for the job he has and the stability it has brought into our lives. His other job was good too, but there were things about it that were hard on our family. Like going on strike for 3 months. That sucked. Anyways, that's not what I'm blogging about today. We love the company that Jar works for! Thank you!

Yesterday I tried to sleep pretty much all day because I had a horrible night Monday. I had an appointment Monday and a good friend offered to watch the girls for me while I went in. I asked if she minded if I did some running around while I was in there, because I figured it would be one of the last times I would be able to do that for awhile. She also cooked supper for us! It was really nice. Anyways, I did some running around which included a Costco trip....without kids! I definitely took my time. Partly to enjoy the moment and also because I can't really walk all that fast :) By the end of the day I was beat. I had showered and got ready that morning, which doesn't seem like a big deal, but I have to sit then stand, then sit then stand, and so on. I get tired and dizzy doing either and so it takes a lot of energy and a lot longer to do. So I had exerted myself that day with not a lot of lying down like I am supposed to. So that night I woke up around 2 am with cramps and back aches and wasn't feeling too good. I wasn't having contractions though, so I tried to sleep, but I couldn't get the aching to stop while lying down. I got up and packed somethings just in case. I knew I had to let Jar know sometime within the next few hours so he could make the morning flight if he had to. Nothing ever did happen, but I was up most of the night. I did get some sleep in the morning and I stayed in bed most of the day. It was much needed! Feeling better now, so that is good!

Today the doctor's office called and told me that my doctor wasn't going to be able to see me next week anymore. I knew he was going to be gone this week and would be back working at the hospital next week and in the office next Thursday. I had my appointment to see him for Friday and I was not too happy with that. I was really hoping to have a C-section booked for that day, but it wouldn't be happening if that was when I saw him. And no, I don't HAVE to have a C-section. I think though that if I got to the 38 week mark he would want me to have one because they won't induce me because of my sensitivity to the drugs. I don't think I'll make it that far, but I didn't think I'd make it this far either, so who knows. Anyways, I was a bit disappointed as well because there would be no membranes being stripped until then. The doctor on Monday did the GBS swab, but didn't do an internal because she didn't want to irritate things while Jar was gone. So, I was feeling helpless and frustrated with the whole thing and when they called me this morning they booked me to see a doctor. A different one again and I see him on Monday! I was quite happy with that! I'm hoping if I am still pregnant by then he will strip those membranes and set up a C-section date for me. My original doctor won't be delivering these babies at all, so it doesn't matter who books it now. Which is kinda nice! That is one more thing that is knocked off my mentally stressed list!

I've been up and at em today trying to get things cleaned up and ready just in case. I'm also hoping it kinda gets things going a bit. I figure I can try eating all the different foods that supposedly help bring on labor, accupressure, and lots of walking! Maybe today we'll go for chinese food for lunch! Which reminds me, we are going into town today because I booked an appointment to get my haircut! I figure I better get it done now because I'm pretty sure it's going to be awhile before I'll be able to have another one. If they came today I would be ready and that feels great!

BRING.IT. ON!

35 weeks

I am going to apologize right off the bat for my whining and complaining. The last week has been pretty tough. This next week is going to be worse. I am mentally and physically exhausted and I find it hard to be happy. Well, pleasant. I find myself wondering why I said this or that, or why I got mad at something so stupid.

I am grateful that I am still pregnant as much as I am hating it right now. I am still doing good, but I have around 11 lbs of baby in this belly. It is painful and each day it seems to get worse. My back and hips have held up though, so that is good! At least when these babies do come, it won't be one big baby!

Right now my huge struggle is that Jar is about to leave in 2 hrs until next Wednesday. A whole week! He will be exactly 1000 kms away. If I go into labor while he is gone, he will be flown back early, but might not make it in time. As much as that would suck and I would feel bad for him, I am mostly worried about getting to the hospital. My mom will be here for the weekend, so that will be good, but I'm not looking forward to the drive into Lethbridge. I am not allowed to go to the hospital in Pincher, just in case you are wondering. They will just ship me to lethbridge, and the time wasted in getting checked in and getting the ambulance, is time that I could probably be in the city already. I am only supposed to go to pincher if I think that the babies are coming right now.

So, yeah. I am not looking forward to the next week. Plus, every night just seems to get worse and worse. I have broken out in a rash and I am extremely itchy all over. My doctor said I need to keep an eye on it and he'll run some tests if it doesn't get better. Something to do with my gall bladder apparently. I'm not worried about it, but the itchiness is so bad I can't sleep. I know it's almost over and I will forget how I am feeling soon, but it is really hard when you are in the middle of it.

I feel bad for complaining, because life really is good. I have been extremely blessed this pregnancy. Doubly! I look around at other peoples' trials and I wouldn't want to trade. But it sometimes doesn't help when I am huge and uncomfortable and hurting and tired and emotional and......well, you get the picture. And this rant is for me. I just need to clear my head and this seems like a great way to do it.

While I am ranting I might as well get it all out there......I am so very tired of people telling me how hard this is going to be and how much help I am going to need and I won't be able to do it by myself. You have no idea how often I get told this. If I had a different personality I might just let it slide, but I am super stubborn and when someone tells me I can't do something, especially when it can be done maybe just not by the person I am talking to, I will give it my all to prove them wrong. For example. Nursing twins. Apparently to many people, it is impossible, and crazy, and hard. Yes, it's going to be hard, but it's going to be a lot easier to nurse them than to bottle feed them. Cheaper too. No bottles to make, clean, make sure I have with me at all times. Who cares it means someone can help me feed them at some point in time. I live in the boonies and my husband is gone half the time. That leaves me. Yup, makes total sense. Another one that drives me nuts is how people wonder how I'm going to get Mackie to school. Really? Do I look incompetent? The time it takes for me to drive her to school and get home is less than 2 minutes. Literally. Even if they are crying and I have to leave, it's for less than 2 minutes that they will just have to wait. And that's only every other week I have to worry about it. Daddy takes her to school when he's home.

I really wish I wasn't so emotional and hormonal right now. This wouldn't bug me so much if I wasn't. In a few weeks it will be something of the past and it won't matter. It doesn't really matter now, but I have a low tolerance for other peoples opinions on how I need to do things. Okay, I have one more. I got told that I can't drive myself to the hospital if I go into labor when Jar is gone. I know that it is not conventional to drive yourself to the hospital, especially when said hospital is over an hour away, but it might be something that I have to do. Also, I am not waiting around the house until it's almost time that the babies are going to be coming out. Once I think I am going into labor I am outta here! Even if it's a false alarm, I don't care, I want that epidural! That is the one thing though I haven't really set up. I should probably look into finding someone. I am good for the weekend, it's just the Monday-Wednesday that I'm worried about. Well, and from now until my mom is here, but I'm not too concerned about that for some reason.

I think I am done now with my rant session. On to some more happier thoughts. I am 35 weeks and 1 day and I am still pregnant! Over a week ago the were both over 5 lbs and Baby A is probably close to 6 and the other is probably over 5.5 lbs by now. I am so happy that they are big! I know they could still run into other problems if they came now, but at least I won't have to worry so much about their weight. The weight helps regulate their temperature, which is something that is hard for preemies to do on their own. So that's a big bonus! There is a chance they wouldn't need any NICU now, but there is still a chance that they would. So, I really do want them to stay in there longer. It's just a mind game now for me. It's not a fun one either. So close to being done! It's driving me nuts.....:)

Oh, and this is not a plea for help. Trust me. I am tired of people asking me what they can do. I really don't know right now!I really am grateful that there are people willing to help, but I am a crazy, stubborn pregnant lady and I'd rather be on my own right now. I know when I need help, and I will know who to ask if I need it. I am annoyingly super self reliant. Just ask my husband. Also, I am extremely grateful to those that have already helped me. Whether it's been watching my kids when I have an appointment, or cleaning the church for me, or throwing a shower, or coming to my shower, or offering to help, or extra clothes, or just listening to my craziness. It has not gone unnoticed.

I think that's all for tonight. My head is starting to hurt. Too much emotions for the day. Please don't judge my craziness right now! I do apologize once again, but hey, I didn't force you to read this! :)

Bed rest :(

Yesterday was my follow up Dr appointment after the premature labor episode. It's already been a week since then! I'm so glad they are still in there.

He seemed a bit more concerned this time. He measured me and we listened to the heartbeats. Everything was good. Although I did almost pass out on the table. You have to lay on the table flat on your back with your legs down to be measured. Then trying to find two heartbeats can take awhile. Yesterday Baby B was not cooperating and I started to feel sick and the spots started coming. For those of you who don't know......when you are pregnant, especially closer to the end, when you lay flat on your back the babies cut off your circulation. That is why they tell you to lay on your side. Preferably your left. It's supposed to help your kidneys that way I guess. Anyways, after that was done I sat up and he told me that he wants me on partial bed rest. I am grateful for the word 'partial' in there. He told me that he tells people having triplets that they need to rest around an hour in the morning, afternoon, and evening. And then he told me that was what I am supposed to do. I have mixed feelings about it. It's definitely not the end of the world and I can still do my regular things, but I think it's just one more thing that has made this more real. It's not everyday though that you get told that you need to go lie down 2 or 3 times a day. I try to do it at least once a day, but I will just have to make sure I do it a bit more. Especially if the contractions start. It really is kinda nice, especially for someone like me that can't sit back and watch and receive help very easily. Being forced to rest will be good for me and the babies and I just need to enjoy the time to rest because once they are here........well, you know.

After I was done, I took the girls shopping. We hit the mall and had some lunch. Then I went to Costco. I really wanted to hit Walmart while we were there, but I started having contractions, so we stopped and got some ice cream and went home. It's really frustrating not being able to go shopping for a few hours, but I'd rather not shop than have babies right now. So, I will manage.

I have an ultrasound on Tuesday. I will be 34 weeks by then! Woooohooooo! And then I think my doctor might be gone. I really hope not. I don't see him again until the following Monday. That will be 35 weeks! So I really hope that we will make it until that appointment. And if I do, they better wait to come until the following Wednesday. Jar leaves early that week for work because he is one the Mine Rescue and they have to go up for training a day early every couple of months. And of course it has to be now. Because he's on night that week, he won't get home until Wednesday afternoon. I am dreading that week. You have know idea.

A quick update on how I am doing physically and I will stop. I have hit the 40 lb mark this week. I am almost 34 weeks, measuring 40 weeks. My tummy is measuring about 42 inches around. I still haven't gotten any new stretch marks! This makes me incredibly happy. I know they can still come and probably will. They could even come after, but I thought for sure by now I would have some. My belly button is still an inny! The babies have dropped down a bit. I can breath better and my heartburn has been a lot better this week. The heartburn was so bad it felt like every time I ate I had food stuck in my throat. Like when you take a pill and it gets stuck. That's how it felt and it was so annoying. Then if they moved just right, they would kick my stomach and it would come back up. Gross. The pressure in the crotchal area is, well, painful, heavy, annoying. The waddle has definitely increased this last week as well. I am pretty sure that is why he put me on bed rest. Things are progressing and he told me he could tell by looking at me. He told me I have "blossomed". At least I won't have to worry about being induced or not. He won't do it, so I was a bit upset when he told me that. Just because of the complications I had with Mackinley when I was induced with her. I may have mentioned that.

Anyways, my pregnancy brain is starting to show in my ramblings. Again, sorry if this seems repetitive or boring. But, I do this blogging for me. It helps me to clear my head a bit and sort things out. I'm sure I will appreciate looking back on this time of my life as well and I'd way rather type than write. So this is my journal. I'm hoping that once the babies are here and we are a bit better with schedules and I have my stuff together again, the blog will still be a journal, but maybe back to sharing just everyday things instead of dumping all my emotional and mental baggage on it. One day!