Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I'm so glad when daddy comes home.....

For those if you who don't know, hubby works away from home. He works up north. He flies there and is gone for a week and then he is home for a week. It's a great job and a great schedule for us. We are very grateful for his job and how it has helped us in so many ways. There are times though it is hard being the only parent for a week.
It's only been a year that he has been up there, so we are still adjusting to him being gone. Actually, I think we are still adjusting to him being home for a week more than anything :)
This has been one of those weeks where it would be nice to not be a single married mom....or is it married single mom? Anyways, there was a lot going on with Mackie's school and the boys are high maintenance and I course I got sick. A bit of the flu this weekend and now a sore throat and a bad cough is on it's way. I sound worse than I really am though. We didn't do school today again because i hadn't slept and the girls are still fighting their coughs and sound like they might be getting a bit worse instead of better. Even the boys are getting a bit stuffy.
I am very behind this week in the house cleaning and laundry. I have little time in between feedings to do anything, especially when I am in need of a nap! I don't mind having things a bit out of order, but we have company this weekend and I would live to have things clean and organized a bit better. That is why I am glad Jar is getting home tonight. Now I just need to figure out if I should get him to clean or take care of babies?

Monday, October 22, 2012

Apparently it's everyone's business

My milk supply that is. I was asked by 5 different people in less than 24 hrs this weekend about my milk supply. I was asked by every single person if I had enough. Ummmmm, no. I just like to half feed my babies. That is why they are so fussy all the time and not growing at all. I really wish there was a font for sarcasm. I think that might be my million dollar idea right there!

Anyways, I find it odd that people think it's perfectly normal to ask a question like that. I didn't really mind, I just thought it was weird. Some were complete strangers, others were acquaintances, and others were friends. If you are reading this and were one of the people that asked, don't feel bad. This isn't what this post is meant to do. I just find that having twins has brought on a plethora of questions that I either don't know how to answer or don't see why it's anyone's business. Seriously, you want to know if I have enough milk? Is it not obvious? Do people think I am a bad mom and am starving my kids because I don't supplement with formula? Yeah, that's right....I breastfeed exclusively. I'm bad-A like that. I know people aren't really thinking that, they are just curious. It's not bad, but nobody questioned my milk with either of my girls.

So, yes! I have enough milk! I could feed another baby with all the milk I have. The woman's body is an amazing thing and will supply the milk as long as there is a demand for it. I am burning over 1000 calories a day just from nursing 2 babies. I have to benefit in the weight loss department from it, but they are only 4 weeks old. I'm thinking by the time they are 6 months I should definitely see some rewards for nursing twins!

I know you want to know more. I get asked all the time if I need help when I'm nursing.....just to clarify, they are offering their help. Now, again, I do not have any one or two people in mind. You have no idea how many times in the last 4 weeks people have asked me this, so once again, if you think this is about you, it's not. Again, I know people are just concerned and just truly want to help, but I don't know how they plan on helping me nurse them. Unless they have milk of their own, but that's just nasty. I think they just want to hold one of them while I feed the other, but I nurse them at the same time. Yes, two at once. I have two arms and two boobs. It only makes sense. People will look at me like I am crazy or incompetent when I tell them I nurse them at the same time, but it works for me. People don't believe me when I say that I am doing good and that I don't need anything or any help doing something. Right now, I REALLY am good. These boys are awesome and they have been way easier than I could have imagined. I'm sure it won't last, but for now I am just enjoying their sweetness.

Things really couldn't be going better with them. The girls are great helpers and they love their little brothers. We are all just enjoying the simpleness of life and how things have slowed down a bit. I'm glad I don't have a busy schedule. It would not work with how I like to mother my kids. I love being the mom and being the one to do things for them and with them. Yes, I am a milk cow for now, but it is great and I wouldn't want it any other way. Things went perfectly for me in the nursing department and I am grateful for that!

PS - This wasn't meant to offend or to discourage people from asking questions. I don't mind telling people things. Not much is a secret. I just find it odd that people ask questions that I have never had before, just because there is two of them :)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The babies are sleeping!

Quick! The babies are sleeping and I am downstairs on the computer! Hopefully I can type fast enough to get an update posted.

This is probably the 3rd time I have been on the computer in the last month. I just don't have time. It is really weird to do nothing really, but be busy at the same time. The boys are so good, but they take up a lot of time.

Yesterday was their actual due date, so they are still little and they are just starting to wake up a bit. They were late preemies, but you could tell they were early because they just acted a bit different. This last week they have blossomed into little babies. It's been fun to watch!

They nurse really well! It's actually been easier than nursing one baby in some ways. I have to nurse more because I don't have them on a schedule, I just do it as a supply and demand kinda thing. But, I don't have to worry about engorgement. They take care of that really well for me :) And I don't know if it's because they were littler and didn't have as strong suction power, but I didn't get nearly as sore when I started nursing as I did with my girls. I remember getting scabs the first week with Macey. Ouch!

They are sleeping alright. The last couple of nights they have been doing the cluster feed thing until about 2-3 in the morning and then sleeping really good during the day. They don't wake up at night, but they just want to feed and feed and feed. It gets frustrating a bit, but I just keep telling myself it's just a phase. It's harder at night with twins, because Coop likes to snuggle and Walker doesn't really care either way for now. So, if Walker is hungry and Coop's sleeping, all the moving around wakes him up. If I put Coop in his sleeping spot, he will wake up grunting within a few minutes until I feed him again. So we are still working on that situation. I'm hoping to switch their cluster feed times to earlier in the day, but I'm not too sure if it's going to be possible. At least not for awhile anyways.

So, a regular day is pretty boring around here. We sit on the couch and feed babies. Then burp them. Then change them and then feed again. Once they fall asleep I either try and sleep or just relax. Unless it's time to eat, then I put them in their swings and quickly get something put together for Macey and I. That is when I try and do a quick clean up too. Then it's feeding, changing, and burping all over again. I have to fit showering in there somewhere too. This is going to sound gross, but I sweat after I have babies. Real bad. Constantly. It's nasty. It has gotten better, but I feel sticky and gross all the time. I really like my showers! For some reason though, those boys know when I am doing something else and they just don't like it! A lot of times it's shower and get dressed and that's it. I brush my hair and pull it up into a wet ponytail. I feel so glamorous!

They really are pretty awesome! I just wish they slept a bit better at night instead of during the day, but that's not really a big deal. I sometimes wonder what they would be like as a single baby. I can't even imagine right now how easy they would be if they were on their own. They are so good together, it would be a breeze with just one! Yeah, right.

Jar is on his way home right now from work. He is gone for a week at a time. It wasn't that bad. My mom came down for the weekend, so that was nice. We waited to go grocery shopping until she got here. I haven't ventured out yet with all 4 kids by myself. It's just a bit too crazy for that right now. They only time I went out by myself with the boys is when I had to be at the hospital at midnight for my antibiotics. And it was just them for about an hour. We will be planning our schedule around Jar's work and my mom being around. It's stuff like this that REALLY makes me wish we lived somewhere else. Maybe one day!

So that's pretty much it. We don't do a lot, but it is busy all at the same time. It's great! I am so grateful that I have this opportunity! I love that I can be a stay at home mom. It is challenging, but so rewarding. I love newborns and I love watching my kids grow! I am not a perfect mom, far from, but I am constantly learning from these kids. They are the best! I am truly blessed in life :)

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

They are here Pt 2

I need to type out the hospital stay before I forget things! I know I have already forgotten some things, but I hope I can remember the things I would like to.

So once I got settled into the room, they did the glucose tests. The nurses had me a bit worried. Not that they wouldn't pass, but that it was important that they did pass or else I would have to supplement them. I know that's not a big deal, but I REALLY hate it when someone (especially medical professionals) tell me I have to do something I don't want to. I know most of them are just doing their job and I am extremely grateful for hopsitals and medicine, but I have had experiences where the staff and medicine made it worse and if they would have just let things be, everything would be fine. The experience I think most about is when Mackie was born. I went in because my water broke, but it was late at night. They gave me drugs to help me sleep so I could rest up to have energy. The drugs stopped my labor. They tried to induce me, but I had a reaction to the Pitocin and had a contraction that wouldn't stop for 45 minutes. I was in distress, the baby was in distress, so I had to have an emergency C-section and I had to be put out. I missed her birth and didn't get to see her for over an hour after she was born. All because of medicine and interfering. So, that is why I'd rather not have too many people try to tell me what I need to do. I do understand that sometimes it is absolutely necessary, but sometimes their protocol is just stupid.

Anyways, I really didn't want to have to supplement as soon as they were born if I didn't have to. Luckily I didn't. They passed both tests and were free and clear for awhile. For the whole day it seemed, we were constantly being checked up on. It was hourly for the first while and then it decreased to 4, but it still seemed like it was quicker than that. We were so lucky to have such great nurses though. They were very friendly and very helpful. We had a few visitors that day. I know I slept through some of them. I was soooo tired! Between the drugs and lack of sleep, I kept going in and out of sleep the whole afternoon. The first night was decent. The nurse asked why I slept with my babies and if I did that all the time. I was going to be mad if they weren't going to let me keep them in bed with me. I told her I always slept with my babies and I really didn't feel like getting out of bed to get them when they needed to eat or be changed. She was okay with that answer and nothing else came of it.

The next day was slower in the morning. It was nice to just enjoy them. Then around 2 the visitors started coming. They didn't stop until 8 that night. It was great to see everyone and it was nice to have everyone leave too. By the end I just wanted some peace and quiet and some alone time. And sleep! That night I had a nurse that I strongly disliked. She was young and looked like she would be fine. At first I didn't mind her, but then she started talking to the boys and was telling them to stop crying while she was checking their temps and whatever else they do when they check them. She used a tone of voice that you would use on an adult. She was very cold. I tried to overlook it, but she made it really hard. The boys had to have their car seat tests done that night. She took Cooper first. They have to sit in their car seats for an hour without their heartbeats and oxygen levels dropping too low. Cooper passed his and Walker failed. What she didn't tell us was that he failed because he had a lot of phlegm the first couple of days and had one of his episodes trying to get some out while he was in his chair. It would have been nice to know. Oh well, he passed with flying colors the next night with a much nicer nurse.

The thing that really ticked me off though was they came to me and told me they were close to getting to the point of losing 10% of their weight. They said I needed to supplement so they wouldn't get down to that because then they would have to go to NICU and have IV's. So I said that I would do supplements, but I wouldn't do bottle. She said that was fine, she would go and get a nurse to help her do it. I said that I could do it. I had already fed them by cup the day before and it went just fine. Then she told me she didn't think it was protocol and she would have to check. Pretty sure she didn't even check with someone. In came her and another nurse and they started to feed them. I was not impressed. I didn't say anything, but looking back, I really wish I would have. After she had left, they still needed some more supplements, and what do you know? I cup fed them both myself in less time it took for the two of them to do it at the same time. And none of the nurses said anything whatsoever to me that I was not allowed to feed my own babies. Imagine that!

 Pretty sure that was the only nurse that I really did not like. Everyone else was fabulous and left me alone to do things myself for the most part. The last night we were there I did have to feed them by bottle for 3 or 4 feeds. Cooper had dropped below the 10% weight loss and Walker was at the 10%. If they weren't up by the time they got weighed in the morning, they wouldn't be allowed to go home. I figured giving them a bottle a couple of times is way better than staying in the hospital, so that's what we did. First I would nurse for 10 minutes. I didn't go any longer because they didn't want them to get tired too fast. Then I bottle fed them 30 cc of formula. I pumped whatever was left over and fed it to them the next time they ate. I would nurse, bottle feed the pumped milk and then the formula. By the morning they had gained enough to go home. I did let one of the nurses help me feed the babies though. She was one of my first nurses and she was super sweet. She was asking me questions and it came up that the twins were due to fertility. She seemed a little relieved and said "So, it actually does work for people."

I thought that was a weird response. We kept talking and she told me that she had been trying for a long time to get pregnant and they were thinking about going on fertility drugs. I told her I could never have worked in the maternity wing when I was at that point. I asked her how she could not hate all the woman that she was taking care of, because I know I would have. She told me that she actually really enjoyed it. I suppose it was because she got to hold babies all the time when she was there, so kinda like a baby fill. That wouldn't work for me, but I'm glad it does for her. So, I did let her help bottle feed one of the boys when it was time to eat.

The next nurse I asked if I was going to have the same night nurse and I told her a bit what had happened and she told me not to worry, if she was going to be there, she wouldn't be my nurse for the night. I was happy about that. I don't know if that got around, but that night I was awake and needed to walk around. I took the boys for a walk to get some ice water and the other nurse that fed one of the boys looked at me and quickly looked away. I found the kitchen and noticed a room with some rocking chairs, so we went and sat in there for around an hour and just cuddled. It was so nice!

Later that morning, the big weigh in was happening. I was nervous. I really didn't want to stay anymore. They both had gone up though, so we were allowed to hit the road! It was awesome! Jar came and picked us up and we stopped and grabbed some Subway in Fort Macleod. Then we hit Walmart to pick up my prescriptions and then we went home to pick up Mackie from school. It was a long day, but it was great to be home so fast with my boys!

We were pretty lucky in everything. Jar was home and was able to stay at the hospital with me. He didn't stay the last night because it was Sunday and Mackie wanted to go to school and my mom had to be back at work the next day. So he took them home for the night and drove back in. We had lots of support and help. I still can't believe how perfectly everything went. I am truly grateful for that.

Of course, it couldn't be all perfect......I ended up having a lot of pain a few days ago, but thought nothing of it because I had just had a C-section. I started to feel ill and get a fever, so we went in to the hospital and the started to treat me for a uterus infection. That was Sunday night. I have been to the hospital every 8 hrs since. The first night we were there for about 3 hrs. Yesterday morning it was about 3.5 hrs. I had to have blood work done and couldn't leave until they got the results back. This morning I had to get some x-rays. Everything seems fine though and the antibiotics seem to be working. I don't feel as bad anymore, just some pain. Hopefully though tomorrow morning will be my last time and then I can continue on with pills. At least it's nothing major. It's more of an inconvenience than anything. I'd rather it be me than the boys, so I'll take it. I'm just glad it happened when it did, while Jar is home. He's home for another week, so I hope everything gets sorted out by then!

I did say I would try and have pictures. I still don't have them off my phone, but I have some from my sister-in-law from when they visited.

 They are so stinkin cute! I love how it looks like Walker is about to bite Cooper.

 This one is from my phone. I have 4 kids!