I have many mixed emotions about being pregnant. A lot probably has to do with the fact the I am almost 35 weeks pregnant as I am writing this and I tend to have mixed emotions on everything.
I am pregnant with my 5th child. I got pregnant 16 months after having twins. The last 2 1/2 years have been a hormonal roller coaster.
I am constantly baffled how I got into this position again! I know "how" it happens, but I don't know why I can't remember all of the horrible awful side effects of pregnancy and get so excited to do it all over again.
I think it is some form of mental block that just naturally happens. I have read articles that say that a woman's brain shrinks when she is pregnant. That probably explains a lot.
I find that each pregnancy has had different trials for different reasons.
My first pregnancy, I was in a car accident and I sprained my SI joint about 3 months into the pregnancy. So, I had horrible hip pain and sciatic pain that wouldn't go away. I also had an injury when I was 12. I broke my femur and wrecked the growth plate above my knee. My leg stopped growing there and I had to have a surgery a year later to stop the growth in the other leg. I had a length difference that really gave me hip, back, and neck problems. It got worse the older I got and I actually had a lengthening surgery after my second was born. It literally was life changing! I wish I would have been able to have that surgery before I was ever pregnant, because the pain would have been way more tolerable.
That hip and back pain was exclusive to the first two pregnancies. Well, due to the accident and leg length discrepancy anyways. Everything else that is awful spanned across all 4 pregnancies. Let me enlighten you.
Crazy cravings!!!! When I say crazy, I am not talking about pickles and ice cream, or other weird combos of food. I am talking about dirt, gasoline, the brand Fantastic cleaning spray. You know, stuff like that. I literally have sucked on little gravel rocks and licked my shower wall because the grout smelt soooo good! I used to tote around a little bottle with gas in it and sniff it every once in awhile. Not enough to do damage obviously, but just a whiff to ease the craving. The cravings are so intense that my throat swells up and the saliva starts flowing. It is an actual physical reaction. I can feel happening right now as I am typing just thinking about dirt. Last week we were driving on a dirt road and the smell got into the van and I almost went crazy with the constant smell! It took everything in me to not demand hubby to pull over and let me find some good dirt to eat. SO. GROSS.
Lightning crotch. Yup, it feels as good as it sounds. I have had it every pregnancy, but this one has been brutal! His little head just happens to wedged in the perfect place and he just hits a certain nerve that shoots pain right into the crotchal area. The pressure and the pain are so intense that I keep waiting for a gush of fluid to shoot out!
Hormones. Oh the fun of hormones! Before getting married and having kids, I didn't have much experience with the hormonal roller coaster. I have PCOS which causes my hormones to be level and not have the monthly fluctuations. Which is great when you don't want kids! No period, no mood swings, the perfect woman right there! But, when you want kids, it creates all sorts of problems. Luckily, I was able to get things worked out with my doctors and I have been blessed to get pregnant and stay pregnant 4 times! But, I wasn't expecting to be happy, sad, happysad, crazy all within minutes. For 9 months. Somedays are just fine. Others days....well, let's just leave it at that! Let's just say being huge pregnant in the hot hot summer with all 4 kids home doesn't work well for our family. I was really excited to drop the two oldest off at school that first day! Until I actually dropped them off and I cried. There's no winning I tell ya!
Snot, snot, and more snot. And not cute little baby snot. My own. Stuffy nose snot. If you blow too hard it turns into a bloody nose. Then you get that metal taste in your mouth that lasts FOR.EV.ER.
Lightheaded, dizzy, can't stand, sit, or walk too long. If you do, you are bound to start blacking out or limbs start to get tingly. Right now I need to get up and walk around because both of my hands are falling asleep. There, that's better. But as I got up to walk it lead me into my next lovely side effect of pregnancy......
Hip pain! Now, I know I just explained why I had bad hip problems with my first two pregnancies, but I have had completely different pain with the last two pregnancies. Due to the fact that I had twins. They stretched my hips out so far, that my pubic bone separated. It pops when I am laying down in bed. It grinds. It hurts. It has caused my legs to pop out of joint easier. After the twins, it took a long time for my body to heal and get back to a new normal. Just in time to get pregnant again! My body went straight back to where it had been so fast! I am pretty sure this has been the hardest pregnancy so far!
Leg cramps. Well, now it has turned into almost full body cramps. I have had nights where my legs cramp so hard and so long that my muscles are sore for days after. One night I was up for hours flexing my feet because if I didn't they would instantly cramp up. This momma needs her sleep! This is the only pregnancy that I have had it more than just my calves. My hips like to cramp and groin and all of those other lovely muscles in the legs. My hands have started to cramp, and well, let's start the next topic! My stomach likes to cramp as well as my back......Braxton Hicks!
False labor, practice labor. Whatever, it hurts. The other day we were trying to get things organized in the house trying to get ready for baby. I worked hard. A little too hard. I started having contractions. That is normal when you stand up or move around, but these weren't going away. And then my back started to ache. And ache. I had to go sit down for two hours for it all to go away. And it just keeps happening. I sit/lay a lot. My kitchen floor has never been so grimy because of it! And twins. Twins don't help the matter.
Hmmmm......what have I missed? I am sure there is more, but my brain is foggy. Did I cover the whole pregnancy brain thing yet? Pretty sure I did......
Oh I forgot discharge! I hate that word. Discharge. Bleh! That is all on that topic.
I am not even going to think about recovery. It takes so long! I had a horrible recovery due to an infected uterus. It makes me a little anxious knowing I am having another c-section. It seems like anything that can go wrong, will!
Now, I think I am done with the lovely side effects of being pregnant. Even though they are as horrible as they sound, woman all around the world keep getting pregnant! Why? Because it is the single most important, miraculous thing that my body can do. My body does it well. I know woman who would trade me places in a heart beat. I gladly go through all of the horribleness because I love my children and I was told I probably wouldn't be able to have kids. So, I will use my ability and be grateful for it!
Plus, how cool is it to feel the baby move around in you? Even when it feels like it is trying to rip you open from the inside to get out? It is something that can't be recreated. It is something that I miss instantly after having that beautiful baby put in my arms.
This pregnancy is quickly winding down to the end and even though I am excited to meet him and not be pregnant, this is my last pregnancy and I am trying to revel in every painful, awkward, amazing moment of it!
Oh, I forgot to mention peeing your pants. I personally have never had it happened, but I have heard horror stories of it. I was holding both twins on the couch the other day and one was sitting on my legs and leaning back on my stomach, prego bellies apparently make good pillows, and I sneezed. I felt a gush coming, I clenched down hard and somehow managed to avoid that awfulness. For now. 3 weeks left. Never say never.
3 months ago