School has ended and summer has begun! I have an 8 year old (hello, when did she grow up so fast?) an almost 6 year old and in a few short months, the twins will be two. Seriously, where does the time go? At least I will get to go through at least one more baby in 13-14 weeks. Seems so far away, but I am sure this next baby will come and grow up so fast, just like the rest of them.
Hubby was wondering why I haven't been posting lately. It is because I like to blog about things when I am happy and in a good mood. Now that my belly has popped, I have been feeling a wee bit annoyed when I am out and about in public. I am happy and blessed, but I feel it really hard to be excited about this next baby when I am out in public. Don't get me wrong, I am crazy excited for this baby! I can't believe everything worked out so smoothly and so easy for a change! I think it just has a lot to do with stupid people. I have been dealing with them for the last two years with the twins. All of the comments about having my hands full, or how I must be done having children, or how the boys are worse than puppies. Yes, someone actually told me that. I am tired of hearing about "double trouble" and how you don't know how I do it. It truly gets old and annoying. At least I am not nursing the twins anymore and don't have to listen to those comments still! Now I finally look pregnant and I get stares and whispers all of the time. Someone told Jar the other day while he was pushing the boys in the stroller that he needed to stop having kids after having two. She did not realize that the girls and my pregnant self were walking behind him. He told her that baby number 5 was on it's way. She sure did back track fast! I can actually watch people mentally count my kids and then look at my belly and see the shock in their face when the get to the number 5. Why is 5 such a hard number for people to get a grasp on? I know plenty of people with more than 5 kids! How do you go out in public and stay sane? My kids are not what drive me nuts in public.....it's the public! Granted, most of the time I am out in public by myself with the 4 kids. It definitely is nice when Jar is around to make it look a little bit more evened out on the parent side.
Just thinking about going out in public with the new baby gives me anxiety. Not because of the kids or the baby, but because of all the strangers that are going to have something negative to say about my life decisions.The next person that asks me if I know how making babies happens, I am going to play dumb and ask them if they know the secret, because I just can't seem to figure it out. You ask stupid questions, you get stupid answers. I did run into a lady in Willliams-Sonoma last week that congratulated me and sounded genuinely excited for me. She told me how awesome she thought it was that we were having 5 and that she was trying to convince her husband to have their 5th. It was refreshing and I wanted to start crying. I didn't, but I sure did want to. Why don't people say nice things to people anymore? Even if someone else's life isn't what you would do yourself personally, doesn't make it wrong for someone else. Why aren't we trying to help each other with our words?
Nobody is the same. Nobody can handle the same situations to the same extent. I happen to be in a very good place right now. I love having 4 kids. I love having twins. I love that I am having another baby shortly. I love that the twins will be just 2 when this baby is born. I love having the two older girls. They are great helpers and they teach me things everyday. I love being a mom. I love being a stay at home mom. I love that I am independent enough to not have to have people helping me with my kids. No one can say that I am in over my head. I am grateful that I have been blessed with circumstances that I do not need to worry about how to take care of my kids ie. having a sick child, or injuries. I love that I have a husband that is willing to let me do what I have always wanted to do.....be a mom! To at least 5 kids! :)
This is my life that I have chosen. Yes, there are crazy days. Yes, sometimes I wonder what I was thinking. Yes, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat!
It is challenging to be a mom. Whether you are a mom of 1 or a mom of 15, there are always challenges. If you can't say something nice and uplifting and encouraging to moms (anyone really), keep your mouth shut!
And there is my hormonal ranty blog. Funny how that made me feel just a wee bit better!
8 months ago