Here are pictures of her on her first day of school and the last day of school. I didn't realize she ended up wearing pretty much the same outfit until after. Pretty funny!
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July Recap
9 years ago
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Last day of school!!!
Today was Mackinley's last day of school! I can't believe it's done. She is growing up way too fast. We had a fun day today to celebrate. The kindergarten class went to one of the classmates farms and hung out for the day.
We went for a LONG walk. I was completely done by the time we got back. We walked up to some hay bales and took a break. The kids had fun climbing and jumping on them. Then we continued up to a little dug out lake. We stopped and had some snacks and then we started to go back down to the farm. It started to rain. A lot. It was awesome! I love the rain. The smell, the feel, the sound. I love how it has kept things cool. I don't like the mud though....
Anyways, I did bring our rain gear, so we had on our jackets and our gum boots and it was good. I did manage to get my XL youth rain jacket on and zipped. I was pretty happy with that. My legs were soaked, but it was good. We got back and had to go inside to eat lunch. Then we headed back out into some more sun for some more walking. We toured the barns and looked at the animals and then came back up for some more snacks and then we headed home.
It was a long day, but it was fun. I will pay for it tomorrow. I can already feel the joints stiffening. It was fun to see Mackinley in her element. She loves school and she loves friends. She is such a social butterfly. I can see so much of her in me and there still so much that isn't. She really is a great girl. She is my big helper and I am so glad she was sent to me!
Here are pictures of her on her first day of school and the last day of school. I didn't realize she ended up wearing pretty much the same outfit until after. Pretty funny!
.JPG)
Here are pictures of her on her first day of school and the last day of school. I didn't realize she ended up wearing pretty much the same outfit until after. Pretty funny!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
My husband is not a D-bag :)
So after my last post my husband voiced his concern that he felt like a D-bag afterwards. Just so everyone knows, he most definitely is not!
He is a wonderful husband and father. We have definitely hit some rough patches, some I didn't know how we were going to get out of, but we did. Together. We are a regular couple who can have good days and bad days. There are things that drive me NUTSO and probably will for the rest of our lives, but I'm sure it goes both ways :)
I wouldn't have it any either way. I couldn't ask for a more supportive, caring and loving hubby. He really is the best!
He is a wonderful husband and father. We have definitely hit some rough patches, some I didn't know how we were going to get out of, but we did. Together. We are a regular couple who can have good days and bad days. There are things that drive me NUTSO and probably will for the rest of our lives, but I'm sure it goes both ways :)
I wouldn't have it any either way. I couldn't ask for a more supportive, caring and loving hubby. He really is the best!
Monday, June 11, 2012
My struggles with PCOS
I thought I'd shed a little light about PCOS. It's a hormonal condition that stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It is not very fun and it has caused me multiple problems other than infertility. It presents in different ways and different woman have different symptoms, but ultimately it's an unbalance of hormones because your ovaries aren't working properly due to cysts all over them. When I have an ultrasound done on my ovaries, they always measure bigger and they look lumpy.
I'm going to warn you now that due to the nature of the topic, there might be too much info for you to handle :) If you can't handle talking about periods, cycles, flows....this post is not for you!
About 10 years ago I had started to really notice that something wasn't really right with my body. I didn't really mind at the time though. I actually thought it was great! I only got my period every 6-10 months and it only lasted about 3-5 days. I had no PMS with them. It was great. After awhile though, I started to talk to my doctor about it and they started running tests. About 8 years ago they thought it was PCOS and shortly after it was what I was diagnosed with and I had some options. I could leave it as was for now, but I would need to do something if I was planning on having kids in the near future. After I had a confirmation and then almost instantly I met my husband. We were dating for only 2 weeks when he told me he loved me. We were dating for only 4 weeks when he proposed. We were dating for only 4 and a half months when we got married. It was all very fast and exciting. Somewhere in that time though I had to talk to him about this issue that I had and it was kinda weird that it was going to have an effect on someone else and that they would have an opinion on my inner workings.
We talked about when we wanted kids. I was 24 when we got married and although that is not old, I was feeling the pressure of having as many kids as possible within the next 10 years. At first we decided to maybe wait a year or two and get settled and then try to have kids. While we were in engaged we went to my cousin's baby blessing and he came up with me. He held her and on the way home he said he didn't want to wait. So off to the doctor I went to figure out what I should do.
There are a lot of physical symptoms that I didn't get, which I am grateful for. Most people that have it are overweight, have more body hair, thinning hair, acne. Every time I went in to see a specialist about it, I've seen 3 different OB/GYN's, or just a new doctor, the first thing they say is "You don't look like you have PCOS."
I never know what to say to that. "Ummmm, thanks."
Through all the tests I've had done, they found out I had an insulin resistant form of PCOS and my testosterone levels were through the roof! My LH and FSH levels were not at the right ratio and the didn't go up and down every month. The decision to go on a pill called Diane-35 was made because it was a testosterone inhibitor. It is also a birth control pill over in Europe, but not here. I was kinda weird going on birth control pills to get pregnant, but it worked. I started taking it in May and I think I stopped taking it in July. I got pregnant in August and had Mackinley in May. It sounds so easy and ultimately it was, but I was told that even if I got pregnant, my body might not be able to sustain the pregnancy because my hormones wouldn't work properly. So encouraging! I started spotting around 8 weeks and I was freaked out! It turned out alright and I delivered a healthy baby girl.
As soon as I had her, I was ready to have another one. I nursed exclusively, and my period didn't start up again until she was 9 months old. I wasn't on any meds, but I think the nursing helped to level out my hormones relatively well. I've had miscarriages and when I went to talk to my doctor I quickly was sent to another OB/GYN because I had only 1 child and 3 miscarriages with PCOS. I had more tests done and one came back positive that I had Protein S deficiency. It is a blood clotting disorder. By the time they got the tests back though I had gotten pregnant and they can't do that test while you are pregnant. So I was to be treated like I had it throughout the pregnancy. They put me on progesterone pills and baby aspirin to help prevent another miscarriage and to keep my blood from clotting and maybe causing another miscarriage as well. By the time we were trying to get pregnant to the time I got pregnant with Macey was almost a year. It was a hard year and my doctor talked about fertility drugs. I was a bit nervous, but I was glad she came on her own. 2 years and 2 months after Mackie was born, Macey joined our family. I know that doesn't seem like a big space to some, but when you try for almost a year, it gets to be frustrating.
After having Macey is when everything went all down hill. I had a TIA scare after I had her and was put on Tinzaparin for possible blood clots for the Protein S deficiency. It was an injection that I had to give myself everyday for 8 weeks. It was horrible. I got retested and they said I was fine and didn't have it. It was a relief, but it was all very traumatic. I was in no hurry to have another baby anytime soon.
About a year after Macey was born I still hadn't gotten over it all and didn't want anymore still. I was actually perfectly okay with having two and only two girls. But, just in case I talked to my doctor about what I should start doing to help keep things under control. They put me on Metformin which is a diabetic drug. The theory behind is that because I have an insulin resistant form of PCOS, the Metformin will block my body from ingesting as much sugar and my body wouldn't produce as much insulin, which would make my testosterone levels stay down, and would help my female hormones be able to work like they should. And they did. After a few months of taking it I noticed a difference. My cycles would shorten every month until they were about 32-35 days. That was a major difference for me! About the same time though everything else went to pot and it took 2 years to figure out exactly what was going on. I had developed a large cyst on the right side. I've had cysts before that were large, but they would go away in a week or so. This one lasted for 2 years! For some reason they couldn't see it on the ultrasound, so it was written off. I was having excrutiating pain during my periods, mostly when I had to go to the bathroom. The pain was extremely severe and it would last for 30-60 seconds. I couldn't move or hardly breathe while I was having an attack. The pain would go away after the first 3 or 4 days. I was given 3 different types of NSAIDs to try and help. I ended up being on toradol and I would take it the first 3 or 4 days. My periods also started to last about 10-14 days and were extremely heavy. I tried to not leave the house the first 3 days because it was so bad. The toradol helped with the length of my cycle and how heavy it was, but not with the pain. Because it got left undiagnosed every month just got worse and worse.
I am already borderline anemic (thanks Mom for that genetic gem) but my iron just got lower and lower because of how heavy my periods were. My vitamin B12 was also getting lower and lower due to the Metformin. It can also block that as well apparently. So, between the 2 things I was tired, no energy, no motivation. I started to take an iron supplement and that did help, but it took a bit longer to figure out the B12. We were having some family issues at the time and I couldn't cope. I went into a sort of manic type episode. I couldn't control how I felt. I was angry with how my marriage had turned out, I was angry with my husband, with my kids, with life. I wanted out. This is the time when we had been trying to get pregnant for about 6 months and then stopped for about 6. I was in no way, in any condition, bringing another child into this mess. I felt trapped. It was horrible. I think we had issues for a month or two before I lost control of my feelings. That lasted for about two months. I tried to just lock myself in the bathroom or go to Lethbridge and hang out with my friends. Little did I know that if I would just take B12 I would feel a whole lot better! We finally figured it out and I was starting to feel better. My life was still the same, but I could cope. I could get myself out of a funk if I got into one. It took awhile to for everyone to feel like we were all okay and we were going to make it through everything. It would've been hard without the B12 issues, but man o man, that was a doozie! Just so you know, Vitamin B12 deficiency can cause symptoms of mania and psychosis, fatigue, memory impairment, irritability, depression and personality changes. So always make sure you are getting enough!
I am grateful for the knowledge that I have gained, even though it was a long hard process. It was the beginning of a new year, a new go at our marriage and our life at home, and we started to try again to get pregnant. We tried for another 5 months and I heard about a surgery that could potentially change my life. It had to do with my leg. I posted about my surgery if you want to read about it :) I knew that it would probably take about 6 months just to get in to see him and then a couple of months to get booked for surgery and then a couple of months to heal from surgery before I could get pregnant again. I was prepared to stop trying again for about a year so I could have this surgery. It was something that I knew I needed and I'm so glad I went for it. 6 weeks after I got my referral from my doctor I was having surgery! They called me a week after I saw my doctor and said they had a surgery open up and to get up there so he could see me. It was like it was meant to be! I recovered extremely well and I think we only had to stop trying for about 4 months in total! It was one of those times that I knew my Heavenly Father is watching over me and knows what I need. While this was all happening though my cyst was still there and bothering me.
I tried to get in to see my OB/GYN before because they wanted to an exploratory surgery and I wanted it done before I had surgery on my leg. My cyst actually burst before I had surgery. When it burst it was about 4 in the morning and I had to go to the bathroom. I got up and was sitting on the toilet and the regular pain began. Then it got worse. It was so bad that I could feel myself starting to pass out. I also felt like I had to throw up. I was so sick for the next couple of days. I didn't really know what happened until a couple of months later. I had surgery and when I got my period 3 days later I was really nervous to be dealing with the pain of surgery and the pain of my cyst. But it didn't come. It was so nice! The next month didn't hurt either. I finally got in to my OB/GYN and he told me that it would have been a cyst that had burst. He apologized for not getting me in sooner and sent me for an ultrasound where they found another cyst on the other side. Sure enough the pain started again. We were trying again and we tried for about another 6 months. By this time I was getting desperate! It had been a long hard go of things the last 2 years, mentally, physically, spiritually. He told me that I should come back in the new year and he would start me on fertility drugs if I wasn't pregnant by then. For some reason I had to go back for something before Christmas and he gave me the prescription and instructions on what I was supposed to do. Jar had just started his new job and it didn't really cooperate so well with his instruction. So I took the first month in December knowing it wasn't going to work because Jar wouldn't be around at all during the time that he was supposed to be. I took it though so I would have a better cycle. I took the second round not knowing if it was going work or not because Jar was going to be getting home in the middle of the time that was supposed to be the 'right time'. I took it hoping it would work, but I wasn't going to be surprised if it didn't.
I took a test. It came back negative. I have a very low patience level when it comes to this though and I tested as early as possible. I waited and tested again on day 28 and it came back positive! I was soooo happy! I was crying and happy and in disbelief! Jar was working, so I just told him over the phone. I think it went something like this: Jar - "So how are you today?" Me - "Tired." Jar - "How come?" Me - "It's hard work making a human!" He then asked if was pregnant and I said I just got the results. Creative, I know, but there's not much I can do when my husband is 1000 kms away! I then called my mom and told her so I would have someone to talk to about it. She had the most info on what was going on with me and the fertility drugs. Not very many people knew, because like I've said, I don't like people talking about me. Especially when it's something very personal and painful. So, when I am okay with people knowing, I will share it myself. I don't like that I can't trust a lot of people to keep my personal affairs to themselves, but that is how it is, so not much gets told. I had told my mom things and so it felt right to include her in on the good news and not just the sad stuff and the complaining and whining. She kept my secret and didn't even tell my Dad. I wanted to keep it a secret as long as possible. I ultimately wanted to wait until our ultrasound, but I was just too big to hide it that long!
Anyways, that is my story about PCOS. I may not look like I have it, but I've had a lot of difficulties with it. I still take Metformin and probably will for the rest of my life. At least I know that I am susceptible to low iron and B12 levels. I know how to manage that. I'm glad that most of my problems have come from the meds and not PCOS itself. It makes me a bit mad sometimes because a lot of could have been prevented, but at least I know I can stop taking the meds if needed or how to deal with it. I know what to look out for. I still don't know what they will do about these cysts. The doctor said once the babies come he will look into it again. I am hoping that it isn't a problem like it was, but now I know what they problem is and I won't go for 2 years in pain like that again.
When I hear of people that say they are going to wait to have children, I just want to shake them and tell them to wake up! I know it's none of my business and I don't ever say anything. I just feel bad because you never know if you are going to have problems getting pregnant or not. I feel bad for people that wait until they are settled and then start trying and it doesn't work for them the way they hoped. Then you get to be older and things get more complicated. It takes a long time to get in to the specialist. You have to be trying for at least a year before they will see you. It is a long year and it is very trying. I know there are people out there that are having issues right now that are similar yet different. It is hard. I don't know why some are blessed with kids easier than others. Some don't get to have any of their own at all. I am fortunate enough to have had two and to have two on the way. Having PCOS has been a major struggle, but I have learned a lot about myself, my marriage, my husband, and my Heavenly Father during this whole thing. And for that I am grateful.
I'm going to warn you now that due to the nature of the topic, there might be too much info for you to handle :) If you can't handle talking about periods, cycles, flows....this post is not for you!
About 10 years ago I had started to really notice that something wasn't really right with my body. I didn't really mind at the time though. I actually thought it was great! I only got my period every 6-10 months and it only lasted about 3-5 days. I had no PMS with them. It was great. After awhile though, I started to talk to my doctor about it and they started running tests. About 8 years ago they thought it was PCOS and shortly after it was what I was diagnosed with and I had some options. I could leave it as was for now, but I would need to do something if I was planning on having kids in the near future. After I had a confirmation and then almost instantly I met my husband. We were dating for only 2 weeks when he told me he loved me. We were dating for only 4 weeks when he proposed. We were dating for only 4 and a half months when we got married. It was all very fast and exciting. Somewhere in that time though I had to talk to him about this issue that I had and it was kinda weird that it was going to have an effect on someone else and that they would have an opinion on my inner workings.
We talked about when we wanted kids. I was 24 when we got married and although that is not old, I was feeling the pressure of having as many kids as possible within the next 10 years. At first we decided to maybe wait a year or two and get settled and then try to have kids. While we were in engaged we went to my cousin's baby blessing and he came up with me. He held her and on the way home he said he didn't want to wait. So off to the doctor I went to figure out what I should do.
There are a lot of physical symptoms that I didn't get, which I am grateful for. Most people that have it are overweight, have more body hair, thinning hair, acne. Every time I went in to see a specialist about it, I've seen 3 different OB/GYN's, or just a new doctor, the first thing they say is "You don't look like you have PCOS."
I never know what to say to that. "Ummmm, thanks."
Through all the tests I've had done, they found out I had an insulin resistant form of PCOS and my testosterone levels were through the roof! My LH and FSH levels were not at the right ratio and the didn't go up and down every month. The decision to go on a pill called Diane-35 was made because it was a testosterone inhibitor. It is also a birth control pill over in Europe, but not here. I was kinda weird going on birth control pills to get pregnant, but it worked. I started taking it in May and I think I stopped taking it in July. I got pregnant in August and had Mackinley in May. It sounds so easy and ultimately it was, but I was told that even if I got pregnant, my body might not be able to sustain the pregnancy because my hormones wouldn't work properly. So encouraging! I started spotting around 8 weeks and I was freaked out! It turned out alright and I delivered a healthy baby girl.
As soon as I had her, I was ready to have another one. I nursed exclusively, and my period didn't start up again until she was 9 months old. I wasn't on any meds, but I think the nursing helped to level out my hormones relatively well. I've had miscarriages and when I went to talk to my doctor I quickly was sent to another OB/GYN because I had only 1 child and 3 miscarriages with PCOS. I had more tests done and one came back positive that I had Protein S deficiency. It is a blood clotting disorder. By the time they got the tests back though I had gotten pregnant and they can't do that test while you are pregnant. So I was to be treated like I had it throughout the pregnancy. They put me on progesterone pills and baby aspirin to help prevent another miscarriage and to keep my blood from clotting and maybe causing another miscarriage as well. By the time we were trying to get pregnant to the time I got pregnant with Macey was almost a year. It was a hard year and my doctor talked about fertility drugs. I was a bit nervous, but I was glad she came on her own. 2 years and 2 months after Mackie was born, Macey joined our family. I know that doesn't seem like a big space to some, but when you try for almost a year, it gets to be frustrating.
After having Macey is when everything went all down hill. I had a TIA scare after I had her and was put on Tinzaparin for possible blood clots for the Protein S deficiency. It was an injection that I had to give myself everyday for 8 weeks. It was horrible. I got retested and they said I was fine and didn't have it. It was a relief, but it was all very traumatic. I was in no hurry to have another baby anytime soon.
About a year after Macey was born I still hadn't gotten over it all and didn't want anymore still. I was actually perfectly okay with having two and only two girls. But, just in case I talked to my doctor about what I should start doing to help keep things under control. They put me on Metformin which is a diabetic drug. The theory behind is that because I have an insulin resistant form of PCOS, the Metformin will block my body from ingesting as much sugar and my body wouldn't produce as much insulin, which would make my testosterone levels stay down, and would help my female hormones be able to work like they should. And they did. After a few months of taking it I noticed a difference. My cycles would shorten every month until they were about 32-35 days. That was a major difference for me! About the same time though everything else went to pot and it took 2 years to figure out exactly what was going on. I had developed a large cyst on the right side. I've had cysts before that were large, but they would go away in a week or so. This one lasted for 2 years! For some reason they couldn't see it on the ultrasound, so it was written off. I was having excrutiating pain during my periods, mostly when I had to go to the bathroom. The pain was extremely severe and it would last for 30-60 seconds. I couldn't move or hardly breathe while I was having an attack. The pain would go away after the first 3 or 4 days. I was given 3 different types of NSAIDs to try and help. I ended up being on toradol and I would take it the first 3 or 4 days. My periods also started to last about 10-14 days and were extremely heavy. I tried to not leave the house the first 3 days because it was so bad. The toradol helped with the length of my cycle and how heavy it was, but not with the pain. Because it got left undiagnosed every month just got worse and worse.
I am already borderline anemic (thanks Mom for that genetic gem) but my iron just got lower and lower because of how heavy my periods were. My vitamin B12 was also getting lower and lower due to the Metformin. It can also block that as well apparently. So, between the 2 things I was tired, no energy, no motivation. I started to take an iron supplement and that did help, but it took a bit longer to figure out the B12. We were having some family issues at the time and I couldn't cope. I went into a sort of manic type episode. I couldn't control how I felt. I was angry with how my marriage had turned out, I was angry with my husband, with my kids, with life. I wanted out. This is the time when we had been trying to get pregnant for about 6 months and then stopped for about 6. I was in no way, in any condition, bringing another child into this mess. I felt trapped. It was horrible. I think we had issues for a month or two before I lost control of my feelings. That lasted for about two months. I tried to just lock myself in the bathroom or go to Lethbridge and hang out with my friends. Little did I know that if I would just take B12 I would feel a whole lot better! We finally figured it out and I was starting to feel better. My life was still the same, but I could cope. I could get myself out of a funk if I got into one. It took awhile to for everyone to feel like we were all okay and we were going to make it through everything. It would've been hard without the B12 issues, but man o man, that was a doozie! Just so you know, Vitamin B12 deficiency can cause symptoms of mania and psychosis, fatigue, memory impairment, irritability, depression and personality changes. So always make sure you are getting enough!
I am grateful for the knowledge that I have gained, even though it was a long hard process. It was the beginning of a new year, a new go at our marriage and our life at home, and we started to try again to get pregnant. We tried for another 5 months and I heard about a surgery that could potentially change my life. It had to do with my leg. I posted about my surgery if you want to read about it :) I knew that it would probably take about 6 months just to get in to see him and then a couple of months to get booked for surgery and then a couple of months to heal from surgery before I could get pregnant again. I was prepared to stop trying again for about a year so I could have this surgery. It was something that I knew I needed and I'm so glad I went for it. 6 weeks after I got my referral from my doctor I was having surgery! They called me a week after I saw my doctor and said they had a surgery open up and to get up there so he could see me. It was like it was meant to be! I recovered extremely well and I think we only had to stop trying for about 4 months in total! It was one of those times that I knew my Heavenly Father is watching over me and knows what I need. While this was all happening though my cyst was still there and bothering me.
I tried to get in to see my OB/GYN before because they wanted to an exploratory surgery and I wanted it done before I had surgery on my leg. My cyst actually burst before I had surgery. When it burst it was about 4 in the morning and I had to go to the bathroom. I got up and was sitting on the toilet and the regular pain began. Then it got worse. It was so bad that I could feel myself starting to pass out. I also felt like I had to throw up. I was so sick for the next couple of days. I didn't really know what happened until a couple of months later. I had surgery and when I got my period 3 days later I was really nervous to be dealing with the pain of surgery and the pain of my cyst. But it didn't come. It was so nice! The next month didn't hurt either. I finally got in to my OB/GYN and he told me that it would have been a cyst that had burst. He apologized for not getting me in sooner and sent me for an ultrasound where they found another cyst on the other side. Sure enough the pain started again. We were trying again and we tried for about another 6 months. By this time I was getting desperate! It had been a long hard go of things the last 2 years, mentally, physically, spiritually. He told me that I should come back in the new year and he would start me on fertility drugs if I wasn't pregnant by then. For some reason I had to go back for something before Christmas and he gave me the prescription and instructions on what I was supposed to do. Jar had just started his new job and it didn't really cooperate so well with his instruction. So I took the first month in December knowing it wasn't going to work because Jar wouldn't be around at all during the time that he was supposed to be. I took it though so I would have a better cycle. I took the second round not knowing if it was going work or not because Jar was going to be getting home in the middle of the time that was supposed to be the 'right time'. I took it hoping it would work, but I wasn't going to be surprised if it didn't.
I took a test. It came back negative. I have a very low patience level when it comes to this though and I tested as early as possible. I waited and tested again on day 28 and it came back positive! I was soooo happy! I was crying and happy and in disbelief! Jar was working, so I just told him over the phone. I think it went something like this: Jar - "So how are you today?" Me - "Tired." Jar - "How come?" Me - "It's hard work making a human!" He then asked if was pregnant and I said I just got the results. Creative, I know, but there's not much I can do when my husband is 1000 kms away! I then called my mom and told her so I would have someone to talk to about it. She had the most info on what was going on with me and the fertility drugs. Not very many people knew, because like I've said, I don't like people talking about me. Especially when it's something very personal and painful. So, when I am okay with people knowing, I will share it myself. I don't like that I can't trust a lot of people to keep my personal affairs to themselves, but that is how it is, so not much gets told. I had told my mom things and so it felt right to include her in on the good news and not just the sad stuff and the complaining and whining. She kept my secret and didn't even tell my Dad. I wanted to keep it a secret as long as possible. I ultimately wanted to wait until our ultrasound, but I was just too big to hide it that long!
Anyways, that is my story about PCOS. I may not look like I have it, but I've had a lot of difficulties with it. I still take Metformin and probably will for the rest of my life. At least I know that I am susceptible to low iron and B12 levels. I know how to manage that. I'm glad that most of my problems have come from the meds and not PCOS itself. It makes me a bit mad sometimes because a lot of could have been prevented, but at least I know I can stop taking the meds if needed or how to deal with it. I know what to look out for. I still don't know what they will do about these cysts. The doctor said once the babies come he will look into it again. I am hoping that it isn't a problem like it was, but now I know what they problem is and I won't go for 2 years in pain like that again.
When I hear of people that say they are going to wait to have children, I just want to shake them and tell them to wake up! I know it's none of my business and I don't ever say anything. I just feel bad because you never know if you are going to have problems getting pregnant or not. I feel bad for people that wait until they are settled and then start trying and it doesn't work for them the way they hoped. Then you get to be older and things get more complicated. It takes a long time to get in to the specialist. You have to be trying for at least a year before they will see you. It is a long year and it is very trying. I know there are people out there that are having issues right now that are similar yet different. It is hard. I don't know why some are blessed with kids easier than others. Some don't get to have any of their own at all. I am fortunate enough to have had two and to have two on the way. Having PCOS has been a major struggle, but I have learned a lot about myself, my marriage, my husband, and my Heavenly Father during this whole thing. And for that I am grateful.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Twin story so far :)
This is the perfect time to start blogging again.....I think. In all honesty, I have blogged twice in the last couple of months, but never published them because of certain things that I was feeling under the circumstances. Does that make sense? For example....when we found I was pregnant, I was soooo excited! I didn't want it ruined by people telling me I need to have a boy. We tried to keep it a secret as long as possible, but I couldn't hide it much longer. I was really sensitive to people telling me I needed to have a boy because I had been on fertility because I have a hormone disorder called PCOS and I've been dealing with big cysts on both of my ovaries the last 3 years. We had been trying for over 2 years. We stopped trying in those 2 years twice. One for about 6 months due to personal things and then again for about 4 months when I had surgery last summer. I wanted to have a baby so badly. It physically hurt to hear that someone was pregnant. I strongly disliked people that were pregnant. Well, not really the people, just that they were pregnant and I wasn't :) Not a lot of people knew that we were trying to get pregnant and that fertility was an option. I don't like people talking about me and I figure it's not really anyone's business until I decide I don't care anymore if anyone knows. So, the whole thing was a very sensitive subject. Plus the pregnancy hormones don't help with that either. This pregnancy was worse with the hormones in the first trimester as well.
I knew that I wanted to find out what we were having. I wanted to wait until we had the ultrasound to even tell people we were pregnant, but because I couldn't hide it, we told when I was 14 weeks along. I tried to ignore everybody's judgements on us needing to have a boy, not that I didn't want one, I always wanted boys, but it's really not anyone's business and they don't get to decide. I didn't like the implications either. Why do I have to have a boy because I already have two girls? What's wrong with my girls that I need to have a boy? If it was a girl would it be disappointing to people? I get why people think that way, but I didn't care what we were having, I was just so grateful to be having one and I just wanted people to feel that way too. I am over all of that now. My hormones have died down and now that we know what we are having, it doesn't matter anymore! Which is nice.
I was pretty nervous about getting pregnant with twins in the beginning due to the fertility drugs. I talked to my mom before I went on them and she told me that I just needed to go into it thinking I was going to have twins, so that when I only had one, I would be happy. So that's what I did, well, I tried anyways. My OB/GYN wouldn't see me until I was 12 weeks. I couldn't wait that long to talk to a doctor. I went into the clinic to see if they could hear a heartbeat. He couldn't find one, so he went and grabbed the portable ultrasound machine. He found the baby and a heartbeat. I was relieved to see the heartbeat and to see only one baby. He told me there was only one, but that he was no ultrasound tech either. I saw my OB/GYN shortly after and he found a heartbeat very quickly. Just one heartbeat. All of my anxiety disappeared after that. Up until I saw him 4 weeks later.
I went in and like I said, I couldn't hide my tummy anymore. He was feeling my stomach and it took him awhile to find a heartbeat. I was getting kinda nervous. He finally found it and listened for a couple of seconds and then proceeded to keep looking around with the doppler. I instantly asked him what he was doing. He asked me if I was sure my dates were correct and told me I was measuring a bit bigger than I should be. I agreed and then the nurse knocked and told him he was wanted on the phone. He left and on his way out told me not to worry, he says things like that all the time and it's only one baby most of the time. So comforting of him. Seriously, who does that? Who tells a pregnant woman there is a possibility of having twins and then walks out without discussing anything with them? I was to see him after my ultrasound which was 2 weeks later. I let him know nicely how I felt about it later :)
2 weeks to sit and stew about twins again. I ate, slept, dreamed, and thought twins the whole time. It took forever for that ultrasound appointment. The day finally came and I went in by myself for the first bit. Jar sat outside with the girls and came in for the last bit to see some images. When I went in, I twisted my head so that I could see the screen while she was doing her thing. When she first put the transducer on my stomach, I could have sworn I saw two black circles that each had a big solid circle in them. I'm no ultrasound tech though, but as soon as I saw what I think I saw, I felt the tech change her pressure for a second, she shifted. I looked at her face and she looked at me and before she even opened her mouth I knew what she was going to say. It's twins. I instantly started to bawl. It wasn't a happy cry or a sad cry. I think it was more of a dam breaking and all of my anxiety and tension were being washed away. She looked a bit concerned, asked if I was alright. I told her it was a happy cry, and told her a bit about why I was nervous about it. She told me it was okay to cry. In my fight to stop crying I told her I couldn't cry because my tummy was shaking and I couldn't see the ultrasound when it was shaking. So she continued on.
It was the weirdest thing sitting in there by myself getting the first sneak peek at my twins. She didn't say much and I didn't either. I did tell her we wanted to find out what we were having if possible. The ultrasound machine decided to quit during twin B. She was nervous she was going to have to do it all over again, and to be honest, I wouldn't have minded. She started the machine up again and was able to pull it all up and we finished up the measurements. She said she was able to get good pictures of the genders, so we would be able to know what we were having. She went to go get Jar and the girls to show them. She said I could tell them the news. She left I started to panic. How do you tell someone you are having twins? I started to tear up again. They all came in and I knew I wasn't going to be able to talk, so I just held up two fingers. He was excited, the girls were excited, I was excited. Nervous, but excited. I don't think that is really going to change much until they get here either :)
We started calling everybody to tell them it was twins. It felt like announcing we were pregnant all over again! It was a lot of fun actually. My sisters screamed and I'm sure my mom would have too, but she was working. We didn't find out what we were having until 5 days later because we had our ultrasound on the Thursday and it was the long weekend, so we went in on Tuesday. When my OB/GYN came in, he laughed and said he figured he'd get to meet the whole family today because of the twins. He then told us we were going to be evened out because we were having two boys! Jar was/is over the moon! The rest of them left while I finished my appointment. I heard both heartbeats and I talked to him a bit about when they would come and where. If I could have them naturally or did it have to be a C-section. Stuff like that. I felt soooo much better after talking to him. When I came out of the appointment, we did some more phone calls to let people know we were having boys. Then we went to Toys R Us so I could go buy something blue.
Honestly, I went into shock I think about the whole 2 boys thing. I was excited of course, but I had thought there would be at least one girl in there. I knew I would be nervous about a boy because I only have girls, but 2 boys? Scared me to pieces. It took a few hours to process and then it was good. We had names picked out almost instantly. Cooper Hatch and Walker Grant. Hatch obviously because of my maiden name and Grant was my Grandpa who was a bit more to me than that. A lot of cousins have that middle name as well. I always wanted to have that middle name for my boy. There was no discussion really. We both liked the names. It was easy. I considered twin A, the one that has the placenta attached at the front, to be Cooper and twin B, his placenta is at the back, to be Walker.
I've had a lot of people ask what it's like to be carrying twins. Honestly, up until the last week, the only difference was I was measuring bigger, I was a lot more tired, a lot more hormonal, a lot more round ligament pain, and I felt them pretty early. The movements still felt the same, just earlier and a bit more often because they seem to be on different schedules already :) This last week though the movements are getting stronger and more frequent. They are squished in there already and there is still 16 weeks to go. I am measuring about 10 weeks ahead of what I really am. So, I feel their movement a lot more and it hurts a lot more. I've been having electric like feelings sometimes when they kick me in certain spots. I almost got dropped to my knees in the middle of M's kindergarten class, one was so bad. They can already kick me in the ribs and they don't like it when I bend over too far. So, in that way it is different. If it was only one in there I would just be showing, feeling some movements, but less frequent and not at strong because of all the room they would have.
I feel pretty good though for the most part. If I do too much, it takes me at least 2 days to recover. Last week for instance was hard. Thursday I had to clean and do laundry, Friday we had to go to Calgary to pick up Jar, so we were walking a lot that day, and Saturday was Mackie's birthday party. By the end of the party I was done. I laid on the bed after and didn't move for awhile. By Tuesday I was feeling better. I still get major pain in my groin or pubic bone. My hips have definitely stretched out. I've put on about 15 lbs, but apparently I am supposed to gain 10 more in less than 3 weeks. We'll see how that goes. Another source said that with a twin pregnancy you should gain 41 lbs by 28 weeks. Crazy! Do they not realize how hard it is to eat when you have no room in there?
Well, that's a lot of info, but I know people are wanting to know. Plus I don't want to forget these things. My brain is mush x2 these days. I will keep it updated a bit better. I have a lot of thoughts constantly going through my head about this and this is a nice way to sort it out for me. Kinda relaxing!
I knew that I wanted to find out what we were having. I wanted to wait until we had the ultrasound to even tell people we were pregnant, but because I couldn't hide it, we told when I was 14 weeks along. I tried to ignore everybody's judgements on us needing to have a boy, not that I didn't want one, I always wanted boys, but it's really not anyone's business and they don't get to decide. I didn't like the implications either. Why do I have to have a boy because I already have two girls? What's wrong with my girls that I need to have a boy? If it was a girl would it be disappointing to people? I get why people think that way, but I didn't care what we were having, I was just so grateful to be having one and I just wanted people to feel that way too. I am over all of that now. My hormones have died down and now that we know what we are having, it doesn't matter anymore! Which is nice.
I was pretty nervous about getting pregnant with twins in the beginning due to the fertility drugs. I talked to my mom before I went on them and she told me that I just needed to go into it thinking I was going to have twins, so that when I only had one, I would be happy. So that's what I did, well, I tried anyways. My OB/GYN wouldn't see me until I was 12 weeks. I couldn't wait that long to talk to a doctor. I went into the clinic to see if they could hear a heartbeat. He couldn't find one, so he went and grabbed the portable ultrasound machine. He found the baby and a heartbeat. I was relieved to see the heartbeat and to see only one baby. He told me there was only one, but that he was no ultrasound tech either. I saw my OB/GYN shortly after and he found a heartbeat very quickly. Just one heartbeat. All of my anxiety disappeared after that. Up until I saw him 4 weeks later.
I went in and like I said, I couldn't hide my tummy anymore. He was feeling my stomach and it took him awhile to find a heartbeat. I was getting kinda nervous. He finally found it and listened for a couple of seconds and then proceeded to keep looking around with the doppler. I instantly asked him what he was doing. He asked me if I was sure my dates were correct and told me I was measuring a bit bigger than I should be. I agreed and then the nurse knocked and told him he was wanted on the phone. He left and on his way out told me not to worry, he says things like that all the time and it's only one baby most of the time. So comforting of him. Seriously, who does that? Who tells a pregnant woman there is a possibility of having twins and then walks out without discussing anything with them? I was to see him after my ultrasound which was 2 weeks later. I let him know nicely how I felt about it later :)
2 weeks to sit and stew about twins again. I ate, slept, dreamed, and thought twins the whole time. It took forever for that ultrasound appointment. The day finally came and I went in by myself for the first bit. Jar sat outside with the girls and came in for the last bit to see some images. When I went in, I twisted my head so that I could see the screen while she was doing her thing. When she first put the transducer on my stomach, I could have sworn I saw two black circles that each had a big solid circle in them. I'm no ultrasound tech though, but as soon as I saw what I think I saw, I felt the tech change her pressure for a second, she shifted. I looked at her face and she looked at me and before she even opened her mouth I knew what she was going to say. It's twins. I instantly started to bawl. It wasn't a happy cry or a sad cry. I think it was more of a dam breaking and all of my anxiety and tension were being washed away. She looked a bit concerned, asked if I was alright. I told her it was a happy cry, and told her a bit about why I was nervous about it. She told me it was okay to cry. In my fight to stop crying I told her I couldn't cry because my tummy was shaking and I couldn't see the ultrasound when it was shaking. So she continued on.
It was the weirdest thing sitting in there by myself getting the first sneak peek at my twins. She didn't say much and I didn't either. I did tell her we wanted to find out what we were having if possible. The ultrasound machine decided to quit during twin B. She was nervous she was going to have to do it all over again, and to be honest, I wouldn't have minded. She started the machine up again and was able to pull it all up and we finished up the measurements. She said she was able to get good pictures of the genders, so we would be able to know what we were having. She went to go get Jar and the girls to show them. She said I could tell them the news. She left I started to panic. How do you tell someone you are having twins? I started to tear up again. They all came in and I knew I wasn't going to be able to talk, so I just held up two fingers. He was excited, the girls were excited, I was excited. Nervous, but excited. I don't think that is really going to change much until they get here either :)
We started calling everybody to tell them it was twins. It felt like announcing we were pregnant all over again! It was a lot of fun actually. My sisters screamed and I'm sure my mom would have too, but she was working. We didn't find out what we were having until 5 days later because we had our ultrasound on the Thursday and it was the long weekend, so we went in on Tuesday. When my OB/GYN came in, he laughed and said he figured he'd get to meet the whole family today because of the twins. He then told us we were going to be evened out because we were having two boys! Jar was/is over the moon! The rest of them left while I finished my appointment. I heard both heartbeats and I talked to him a bit about when they would come and where. If I could have them naturally or did it have to be a C-section. Stuff like that. I felt soooo much better after talking to him. When I came out of the appointment, we did some more phone calls to let people know we were having boys. Then we went to Toys R Us so I could go buy something blue.
Honestly, I went into shock I think about the whole 2 boys thing. I was excited of course, but I had thought there would be at least one girl in there. I knew I would be nervous about a boy because I only have girls, but 2 boys? Scared me to pieces. It took a few hours to process and then it was good. We had names picked out almost instantly. Cooper Hatch and Walker Grant. Hatch obviously because of my maiden name and Grant was my Grandpa who was a bit more to me than that. A lot of cousins have that middle name as well. I always wanted to have that middle name for my boy. There was no discussion really. We both liked the names. It was easy. I considered twin A, the one that has the placenta attached at the front, to be Cooper and twin B, his placenta is at the back, to be Walker.
I've had a lot of people ask what it's like to be carrying twins. Honestly, up until the last week, the only difference was I was measuring bigger, I was a lot more tired, a lot more hormonal, a lot more round ligament pain, and I felt them pretty early. The movements still felt the same, just earlier and a bit more often because they seem to be on different schedules already :) This last week though the movements are getting stronger and more frequent. They are squished in there already and there is still 16 weeks to go. I am measuring about 10 weeks ahead of what I really am. So, I feel their movement a lot more and it hurts a lot more. I've been having electric like feelings sometimes when they kick me in certain spots. I almost got dropped to my knees in the middle of M's kindergarten class, one was so bad. They can already kick me in the ribs and they don't like it when I bend over too far. So, in that way it is different. If it was only one in there I would just be showing, feeling some movements, but less frequent and not at strong because of all the room they would have.
I feel pretty good though for the most part. If I do too much, it takes me at least 2 days to recover. Last week for instance was hard. Thursday I had to clean and do laundry, Friday we had to go to Calgary to pick up Jar, so we were walking a lot that day, and Saturday was Mackie's birthday party. By the end of the party I was done. I laid on the bed after and didn't move for awhile. By Tuesday I was feeling better. I still get major pain in my groin or pubic bone. My hips have definitely stretched out. I've put on about 15 lbs, but apparently I am supposed to gain 10 more in less than 3 weeks. We'll see how that goes. Another source said that with a twin pregnancy you should gain 41 lbs by 28 weeks. Crazy! Do they not realize how hard it is to eat when you have no room in there?
Well, that's a lot of info, but I know people are wanting to know. Plus I don't want to forget these things. My brain is mush x2 these days. I will keep it updated a bit better. I have a lot of thoughts constantly going through my head about this and this is a nice way to sort it out for me. Kinda relaxing!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Surgery....:)
Life has been a little crazy the last few months. Jar has been busy with work and his Primerica. He sells life insurance and RRSP's...that kind of stuff. That has him working when he's not working, so he seems to be always working. It's good, but it's getting old real fast :) The girls are getting huge. Mackinley just turned 5!
We had a Pinkalicious birthday party for her. It was pretty cute. EVERYTHING was pink. I made the cupcakes to look like the ones that were in the book. I'm not really a cake/cupcake fan. I'd take a chocolate brownie over cake any day. These ones though were soooooo good! Seriously, I ate a lot of them and I was a little sad when the last 2 got eaten by my little monsters. Maybe I should make some more on this yucky rainy day!
Mackinley starts kindergarten this September! I am so not ready for this to happen. Mentally, emotionally, or just plain ready. She's grown up so fast and I do not like it! They do full days out here. She'll go every Monday and Wednesday and then every other Thursday. It will be good and I know she will love it. Macey on the other hand is going to go bananas without her here. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to sign her up for multiple different things just to keep her happy. It will be nice to have her all to myself though :)
I probably won't be blogging much in the near future either. I am having surgery in a month and I will be at my parents' house for a couple of weeks after. I'm so lucky to have them close enough and so willing to help us. That has been a huge factor in my decision to have this surgery. I am getting my right leg lengthened. If you think this sounds horrible, it probably will be. I'm going to try and stay positive and think it's not going to be as bad as I think it's going to be. Why am I having this done? Well, when I was 12 I broke my femur in a dirt bike accident and the growth plate stopped growing. I still had some growing to do, so I had surgery the following year to make my left leg stop growing as well. I have worn a lift in my right shoe ever since. I have bad knees now and I have scoliosis. My hips are sore and my sciatic acts up. A lot has to do with the fact that we were in a car accident 5 1/2 years ago and I sprained my SI joint. I was pregnant at the time as well, so the further along I got in the pregnancy the worse my pain. So between the leg difference, the injury, and being pregnant, I had the perfect pain trifecta! I have bad days and good days, but I am always in some form of discomfort. Mostly my hips, back, and neck. Not necessarily painful, but just uncomfortable because something is out and I can't crack it. It is getting worse though. I've spent a lot of time the last few months in bed just because my hips hurt so bad. I can get around fine, but it was worth looking into the surgery. A girl I know had the same surgery done about 4 weeks ago. That's what got me going with the whole idea. I didn't even know this surgery existed until I heard she was having it done. I asked her about it and who she was seeing and once I had the info I contacted my doctor to get a referral in. My doctor was away, but I had the choice to see the resident if I wanted. I had been waiting for this surgery for 18 years. I didn't want to wait any longer :) I booked with the resident and I'm sooooo glad I did! The wait time just to get in to see Dr. Buckley is about 6 months. That's just to see him. I don't know how long it takes after that to get surgery. I kind of skipped all of that. I was looking at around a year though to get in and have surgery and be better again. I heard about this surgery at Easter time, I have surgery July 8th and it will be 2-3 months to heal. So a grand total of 5 months from start to finish!
When the receptionist called me to set my first appointment up, she said they had a surgery date open on July 8th and if I could come up on June 6th to see him I could have that day if he thought I could use the surgery. I instantly said yes. I couldn't pass on such a great opportunity. It is scary though. I haven't had a lot of time to completely think about it. I have thought about it, but I was expecting a lot more time.I keep thinking if I would have waited to see my regular doctor the receptionist wouldn't have had my referral that day and I wouldn't have gotten in so fast.
Anyways, June 6th was yesterday. I took my xrays up with me and I met with 2 surgeons and 2 med students. I read up on my doctor and all I read was he was mean, abrasive, made people cry, so on and so on. He was supposed to be a brilliant orthopedic surgeon though. I was okay with this. I LOVED him. He was funny, to the point, concerned.....I knew he wouldn't mess around and I knew he wouldn't do something he wasn't comfortable with. He said normally he would turn me away. The leg length discrepancy was not quite large enough for them to normally operate. Mine is just under 1.5 cm and he said they like it to be at least 1.5 cm difference. But, because I was having such problems and I was determined to have it done he let me. What can I say, I'm really good at being persuasive :) He was concerned that normally someone with my problem wouldn't see much of a difference because their problems wouldn't be so bad. He didn't know if it was necessary to put me through the pain and the risk and have nothing change. I get that. I'm not going into this light heartedly. It will suck. There are risks. There could be complications. My leg could hurt for a long time after....it might not help the pain.....I could lose a leg......my life.......it could work and I could be pain free.
It's only been the last 5 years that it has gotten worse. I am 30. What am I going to be like in another 5 years? 10 years? 30 years? I am young and have a lot of life left in me. I want to enjoy it. I want to be able to run a marathon. I would like to be able to just walk around for the day with out my hip locking up or my back hurting so bad it takes a good 15 minutes to relax after I lay down because the pain is so bad. It is worth it to me.
I let him know how I feel ^ and I also told him that him telling me he won't do it is going to be harder for me to deal with than to actually have the surgery. I also told him that if I don't have it July 8th......he did try to get me to think about for a couple of months and then come back in.....that I most likely won't ever have it done. It was just too perfect this way. He consented, filled out my papers, and told me I owe him a bottle of wine :) He totally made my week, month, year!
So, I have a month until surgery. A month to get prepared. I have 17 days from the day of my surgery until I will be at home with girls all by myself. We are really good at taking it easy, so that is what we will do. I will be getting freezer meals ready, cleaning, and laundering so that I don't have to worry about it. Jar is good at helping out as well, so we will be good. I'm just thankful it worked out that we could stay at my mom's and have my sisters around to help watch the girls during the day. If this surgery wasn't in the summer and I had to do it at home by myself I don't know if I would be so gung ho about it. And if the surgery doesn't help with the pain like I'm hoping, at least my jeans won't wear out on the right side anymore :)
We had a Pinkalicious birthday party for her. It was pretty cute. EVERYTHING was pink. I made the cupcakes to look like the ones that were in the book. I'm not really a cake/cupcake fan. I'd take a chocolate brownie over cake any day. These ones though were soooooo good! Seriously, I ate a lot of them and I was a little sad when the last 2 got eaten by my little monsters. Maybe I should make some more on this yucky rainy day!
Mackinley starts kindergarten this September! I am so not ready for this to happen. Mentally, emotionally, or just plain ready. She's grown up so fast and I do not like it! They do full days out here. She'll go every Monday and Wednesday and then every other Thursday. It will be good and I know she will love it. Macey on the other hand is going to go bananas without her here. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to sign her up for multiple different things just to keep her happy. It will be nice to have her all to myself though :)
I probably won't be blogging much in the near future either. I am having surgery in a month and I will be at my parents' house for a couple of weeks after. I'm so lucky to have them close enough and so willing to help us. That has been a huge factor in my decision to have this surgery. I am getting my right leg lengthened. If you think this sounds horrible, it probably will be. I'm going to try and stay positive and think it's not going to be as bad as I think it's going to be. Why am I having this done? Well, when I was 12 I broke my femur in a dirt bike accident and the growth plate stopped growing. I still had some growing to do, so I had surgery the following year to make my left leg stop growing as well. I have worn a lift in my right shoe ever since. I have bad knees now and I have scoliosis. My hips are sore and my sciatic acts up. A lot has to do with the fact that we were in a car accident 5 1/2 years ago and I sprained my SI joint. I was pregnant at the time as well, so the further along I got in the pregnancy the worse my pain. So between the leg difference, the injury, and being pregnant, I had the perfect pain trifecta! I have bad days and good days, but I am always in some form of discomfort. Mostly my hips, back, and neck. Not necessarily painful, but just uncomfortable because something is out and I can't crack it. It is getting worse though. I've spent a lot of time the last few months in bed just because my hips hurt so bad. I can get around fine, but it was worth looking into the surgery. A girl I know had the same surgery done about 4 weeks ago. That's what got me going with the whole idea. I didn't even know this surgery existed until I heard she was having it done. I asked her about it and who she was seeing and once I had the info I contacted my doctor to get a referral in. My doctor was away, but I had the choice to see the resident if I wanted. I had been waiting for this surgery for 18 years. I didn't want to wait any longer :) I booked with the resident and I'm sooooo glad I did! The wait time just to get in to see Dr. Buckley is about 6 months. That's just to see him. I don't know how long it takes after that to get surgery. I kind of skipped all of that. I was looking at around a year though to get in and have surgery and be better again. I heard about this surgery at Easter time, I have surgery July 8th and it will be 2-3 months to heal. So a grand total of 5 months from start to finish!
When the receptionist called me to set my first appointment up, she said they had a surgery date open on July 8th and if I could come up on June 6th to see him I could have that day if he thought I could use the surgery. I instantly said yes. I couldn't pass on such a great opportunity. It is scary though. I haven't had a lot of time to completely think about it. I have thought about it, but I was expecting a lot more time.I keep thinking if I would have waited to see my regular doctor the receptionist wouldn't have had my referral that day and I wouldn't have gotten in so fast.
Anyways, June 6th was yesterday. I took my xrays up with me and I met with 2 surgeons and 2 med students. I read up on my doctor and all I read was he was mean, abrasive, made people cry, so on and so on. He was supposed to be a brilliant orthopedic surgeon though. I was okay with this. I LOVED him. He was funny, to the point, concerned.....I knew he wouldn't mess around and I knew he wouldn't do something he wasn't comfortable with. He said normally he would turn me away. The leg length discrepancy was not quite large enough for them to normally operate. Mine is just under 1.5 cm and he said they like it to be at least 1.5 cm difference. But, because I was having such problems and I was determined to have it done he let me. What can I say, I'm really good at being persuasive :) He was concerned that normally someone with my problem wouldn't see much of a difference because their problems wouldn't be so bad. He didn't know if it was necessary to put me through the pain and the risk and have nothing change. I get that. I'm not going into this light heartedly. It will suck. There are risks. There could be complications. My leg could hurt for a long time after....it might not help the pain.....I could lose a leg......my life.......it could work and I could be pain free.
It's only been the last 5 years that it has gotten worse. I am 30. What am I going to be like in another 5 years? 10 years? 30 years? I am young and have a lot of life left in me. I want to enjoy it. I want to be able to run a marathon. I would like to be able to just walk around for the day with out my hip locking up or my back hurting so bad it takes a good 15 minutes to relax after I lay down because the pain is so bad. It is worth it to me.
I let him know how I feel ^ and I also told him that him telling me he won't do it is going to be harder for me to deal with than to actually have the surgery. I also told him that if I don't have it July 8th......he did try to get me to think about for a couple of months and then come back in.....that I most likely won't ever have it done. It was just too perfect this way. He consented, filled out my papers, and told me I owe him a bottle of wine :) He totally made my week, month, year!
So, I have a month until surgery. A month to get prepared. I have 17 days from the day of my surgery until I will be at home with girls all by myself. We are really good at taking it easy, so that is what we will do. I will be getting freezer meals ready, cleaning, and laundering so that I don't have to worry about it. Jar is good at helping out as well, so we will be good. I'm just thankful it worked out that we could stay at my mom's and have my sisters around to help watch the girls during the day. If this surgery wasn't in the summer and I had to do it at home by myself I don't know if I would be so gung ho about it. And if the surgery doesn't help with the pain like I'm hoping, at least my jeans won't wear out on the right side anymore :)
Monday, March 7, 2011
My giveaway!
Well, I might as well blog about this, since I'm trying to get everybody else to! If you don't know, I have been selling vinyl out of my home as a hobby for the last 4 years. I bought it for me to play with and selling it was just a bonus! I recently got into making hand stamped jewelry. I've seen it around and I bought some simple stamps to make some cute necklaces with some friends just before Christmas. It was so much fun! I didn't have the tools to make them look professional, but they were cute none the less.
The last couple of weeks I had some orders for the discs to go onto some FHE boards that I had made. They are magnetic and I made my magnets out my hand stamped discs and added some beads and charms to make the board uber cute! I think that's what the ball rolling and I debated on buying this HUGE starter kit. It was not cheap! It was not an easy decision! Jaron is still on strike. He is still working, but we can still feel the pinch. I decided to bite the bullet and buy it. I don't like doing things that are only half done or 'good enough'. So, it seemed necessary. I still need a few more things to get going the way that I would like, but soon I will be a stamping fiend!
I am having so much fun with it! I love being creative and being crafty. There is such a sense in accomplishment when you are done and you see what you have made. I seriously can't believe that I have made some really cute necklaces. There is a problem that comes with this though. Now that I am making my own necklaces pretty much from scrap, I seem to think that I need more designer stamps and more types of charms and beads and tools and metal and......well, you get the idea. I seriously have no patience when it comes to waiting to buy things that I think I need and that I know I will be buying eventually. I REALLY wish the strike would end!!!!!
Anyways, I will get to the point of this post now. Since I am starting a new adventure in the world of crafting I thought I would have a giveaway. The rules are simple. Go like my page on Facebook. It is called CreaTiffany's. Not CreaTiffany's Custom Vinyl......that is the old page. It will be removed once I have enough people liking my new page. So, go to the new page and like it. If you post in your facebook status about my giveaway you get one entry. If you blog about my contest you get another entry. If you buy over $15 dollars in vinyl you get another entry. If you buy a hand stamped item you get another entry. I will be making the draw on the 25th of this month. I figured I would leave enough time for people to decide what vinyl or jewelry they would like if they want some for the contest. The prize is for $40 worth of vinyl and a hand stamped necklace!
So, what are you waiting for?
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/CreaTiffanys/186902458013698
The last couple of weeks I had some orders for the discs to go onto some FHE boards that I had made. They are magnetic and I made my magnets out my hand stamped discs and added some beads and charms to make the board uber cute! I think that's what the ball rolling and I debated on buying this HUGE starter kit. It was not cheap! It was not an easy decision! Jaron is still on strike. He is still working, but we can still feel the pinch. I decided to bite the bullet and buy it. I don't like doing things that are only half done or 'good enough'. So, it seemed necessary. I still need a few more things to get going the way that I would like, but soon I will be a stamping fiend!
I am having so much fun with it! I love being creative and being crafty. There is such a sense in accomplishment when you are done and you see what you have made. I seriously can't believe that I have made some really cute necklaces. There is a problem that comes with this though. Now that I am making my own necklaces pretty much from scrap, I seem to think that I need more designer stamps and more types of charms and beads and tools and metal and......well, you get the idea. I seriously have no patience when it comes to waiting to buy things that I think I need and that I know I will be buying eventually. I REALLY wish the strike would end!!!!!
Anyways, I will get to the point of this post now. Since I am starting a new adventure in the world of crafting I thought I would have a giveaway. The rules are simple. Go like my page on Facebook. It is called CreaTiffany's. Not CreaTiffany's Custom Vinyl......that is the old page. It will be removed once I have enough people liking my new page. So, go to the new page and like it. If you post in your facebook status about my giveaway you get one entry. If you blog about my contest you get another entry. If you buy over $15 dollars in vinyl you get another entry. If you buy a hand stamped item you get another entry. I will be making the draw on the 25th of this month. I figured I would leave enough time for people to decide what vinyl or jewelry they would like if they want some for the contest. The prize is for $40 worth of vinyl and a hand stamped necklace!
So, what are you waiting for?
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/CreaTiffanys/186902458013698
Monday, February 7, 2011
2011 so far
Well this year has proven to be interesting! A lot of change happening this year! Most of it good, but right now there is definitely a lot of stress that comes with it. The mine that Jar works for is on strike right now. They went on strike just over a week ago. Hopefully it doesn't last too long. He does have work until the strike is over, so that is good. He is working at a sawmill in Elko. He stays out there, so we don't see him from Monday morning until Saturday morning. Not ideal, but at least he has a job and it is only temporary.
Another change is Jar has started to work Primerica. He's taking his course and writing his exams in Calgary this weekend. He will be doing life insurance, RRSP's, and other financial planning. Hopefully it all goes well for him this weekend!
Those are the things that are stressing us out right now. Jobs and money......who would have thought? At least we are being taken care of and I am grateful for a hard working hubby! I'm also grateful for the connections that we have. We would be pretty hard up right now without them! So, I guess I can sacrifice a little bit and try really hard not to complain, because I know there are other families out there that aren't so lucky.
On to better news......I'm going to be an Auntie!!! Finally! My brother Bo and his wife Kimm are having a baby boy this summer! Jar and I have been the only ones married on both sides of our family up until last year. My brother and his sister both got married last year. Actually, my brother got engaged the night Jar's sister got married. I think that's how it went anyways. Pretty exciting stuff! Our kids have been the only grand kids as well. They are spoiled to the nines, but it will be so good for them to have cousins!
I know so many people that are pregnant or just had a baby. It's crazy! I definitely would love to have another little baby around, but then I start to think about my awful labors and it goes away real quick! I think I'm just going to leave the baby making to everyone else. I will definitely have a lot of babies around in the near future to love.
I think there is only one more bit of 'news' left. I got a new calling in church last week. One that I am feeling very inadequate for......Relief Society teacher. I have never taught a single thing in church ever. Nothing. I also tend to have panic attacks and hyperventilate in certain situations, so hopefully teaching Relief Society is not one of them. I definitely have mixed emotions about it. I am excited.....to learn and grow, but at the price of failing miserably? Not so excited about that. No, I don't think I will fail miserably, but it's there lurking in the back of my head. I'll let you know how that goes. I teach this Sunday. Maybe I should be preparing my lesson instead of blogging.....hmmmmmm.
Well, that's our life for this year so far in a nutshell!
Another change is Jar has started to work Primerica. He's taking his course and writing his exams in Calgary this weekend. He will be doing life insurance, RRSP's, and other financial planning. Hopefully it all goes well for him this weekend!
Those are the things that are stressing us out right now. Jobs and money......who would have thought? At least we are being taken care of and I am grateful for a hard working hubby! I'm also grateful for the connections that we have. We would be pretty hard up right now without them! So, I guess I can sacrifice a little bit and try really hard not to complain, because I know there are other families out there that aren't so lucky.
On to better news......I'm going to be an Auntie!!! Finally! My brother Bo and his wife Kimm are having a baby boy this summer! Jar and I have been the only ones married on both sides of our family up until last year. My brother and his sister both got married last year. Actually, my brother got engaged the night Jar's sister got married. I think that's how it went anyways. Pretty exciting stuff! Our kids have been the only grand kids as well. They are spoiled to the nines, but it will be so good for them to have cousins!
I know so many people that are pregnant or just had a baby. It's crazy! I definitely would love to have another little baby around, but then I start to think about my awful labors and it goes away real quick! I think I'm just going to leave the baby making to everyone else. I will definitely have a lot of babies around in the near future to love.
I think there is only one more bit of 'news' left. I got a new calling in church last week. One that I am feeling very inadequate for......Relief Society teacher. I have never taught a single thing in church ever. Nothing. I also tend to have panic attacks and hyperventilate in certain situations, so hopefully teaching Relief Society is not one of them. I definitely have mixed emotions about it. I am excited.....to learn and grow, but at the price of failing miserably? Not so excited about that. No, I don't think I will fail miserably, but it's there lurking in the back of my head. I'll let you know how that goes. I teach this Sunday. Maybe I should be preparing my lesson instead of blogging.....hmmmmmm.
Well, that's our life for this year so far in a nutshell!
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